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Reply to "Parent subsidizing my sib big time but not me. Would you be ticked?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents subsidized my brother his entire adult life and I never blinked twice. He was in need and I wasn't. And I'm talking about three times what your parents are giving your sister. Every time they gave him money it made logical sense to me. I viewed it as parents who could help did help. And I assumed if I ever needed help, they'd help me too. It was their mindset that mattered to me, not an equal distribution of funds. I will say, however, that my dad died several years and the money dried up to the point my mom is living on a limited fixed income now. I am mad because my brother isn't paying back a loan to her, which she now needs. So the family ethic of helping when help is needed didn't go both ways. I also think now, looking back, that so much help, so quickly, produced a very unhealthy sense of entitlement in my brother that has gone on to cause him a lot of problems. In your parents' place now, I might tell your sister i'd help, but I'd help toward that original $350,000 house goal. In your shoes, I'd examine what your relationships are with your parents and sister that make you want an equal gift. Like I said before, I felt the "gift" to me was parents who'd help if necessary. I was just fortunate in life never to need that. I still had the "gift" of generous and caring parents. If that makes sense. But maybe there's something in your life history that makes you feel the unfairness is bigger than the $ amount. It's worth examining. [/quote] Very well put, PP. My parents are subsidizing my brother too and I feel the same way you do. FWIW, OP, I bet you're looking at houses that cost way more than your sister is considering, especially if it's gojnh to take years to save up a down payment on a 400K HHI. You have much, much more than she does. The reasons don't matter. You sound petty and small wanting to "even the score". [/quote]
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