Reply to Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why the need to marry the divorced guy/gal? Can you not have a long term relationship and keep the finances separate?[/quote]

That works for some people, but the legal rights associated with being married are pretty well documented. A couple of social reasons I can think of would be:

- want to have a child together and feel that marriage is important for that
- want the social validation of "being married" vs. "being in a long term relationship" 
- personal spiritual commitment[/quote]

+1 I can't believe all the people here who really think you shouldn't get remarried if you have children. [/quote]

Blended families are high drama, high stress environments for everyone involved. That is not fair to the children, who didn't ask for the divorce and who can't say "no" to a new step-parent and who can't move out before they are 18.

You shouldn't remarry if you are divorced and have kids. It's never good for the kids. The person most likely to abuse or molest your child is your new boyfriend or husband.  That's an extreme example, but the spectrum of shitty parenting by step-parents is both broad and deep.[/quote]

This is such complete nonsense. Your absolutism is ridiculous, as is your fear mongering that step-parents are abusers. [/quote]

You might not like it but the statistics are clear that step-parents are far more likely to be abusive to their step-children than biological parents are to the same children.  That doesn't mean that all step-parents are abusers, but [b]if you intend to protect your children[/b], you shouldn't have a step-parent in the house. Step-parents are statistically  much more dangerous to children than strangers.  No one would question keeping a stranger out of the house or away from kids. Same thing with step-parents.

Date whoever you like, but don't marry them and don't let them live in your house with your kids. [/quote]

Children are also molested by teachers, religious leaders, sports coaches, and extended family members. They are also abused by biological parents and siblings. If you "intend to protect your children" you should make sure to avoid all those things too. Also cars. Cars are very dangerous for children. Avoid them, if you intend to protect your children.

Are you seriously suggesting that anyone who remarries doesn't want to protect their kids? Just keep making yourself sound crazy.[/quote]

You sound both naïve and self-centered.

Out of all those groups, step-parents are the worst offenders. The rate of abuse by step-parents is about 50 times the rate by parents, and much higher than any of those other groups.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/21838575/ns/health-childrens_health/t/children-higher-risk-nontraditional-homes/

Avoiding remarriage until your kids are out of the house is the safest course. I absolutely do judge people who move husbands or boyfriends into a household with their children because of the potential for abuse. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics