Reply to Update: New nephews not fitting into family dynamic

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Completely NP. Not sure if OP is sock puppeting. I can see both sides. A nice birthday party for dad. Not wanting the misbehaving in-law step - children throwing a tantrum. 
But it is rude to invite BIL and three nieces and exclude new SIL and step nephews, even if they are brats.
So, make amends OP.  Stress that you really are just concerned about having a nice party for your dad, and you didn't mean for her to be insulted by your efforts. Ask her for advice on how to have a good evening with the boys and attendance. Maybe you could  arrange that if they want to sit and play video games they need to go to another room where none of the guests are.  That way the boys can come, brother-in-law and sister-in-law are happy, and they will be in a room where they can throw tantrums without anyone noticing. [/quote]

This is my question to everyone who keeps saying "OP is a beast, the innocent little boys can just go, sit in another room and bury their faces in their iPads" - what would be the point in that? Surely they can be expected to behave and begrudgingly enjoy a freaking party. Oh the horrors![/quote]
Well, OP could try (again) to parent other people's kids against the wishes of the children's parents... Or she could be rude and only invite the part of the family she likes, or she could meet halfway. What is the best example here? Invite the brats, trying to force them to behave? Ignore her BILs new family? Or try and take the high road?[/quote]

If your children cannot behave and make everyone around them miserable and someone says "Please make sure they behave or they won't be invited back" how is that parenting a kid against a parents wishes?

How can you not think the parent is not the rude one here?[/quote]
If she really thinks the new nephews shouldn't attend, then don't invite BIL family at all. But she wants to pick apart a family. Not cool.[/quote]

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