Reply to In shock - he cheated

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. This is good food for thought. As I am considering both options, to stay and to leave, I have been doing a lot of research, and post-nuptial agreements is an area I have looked into. Specifically, they can be structured with an "infidelity clause," so if one party is unfaithful (again), it is documented what the financial and legal stipulations are in a divorce proceeding.

In discussion with my husband and him asking what would make me feel better about trying to reconcile, I told him about the documents and clause. I said that if I stayed and we tried to move forward in the marriage, that a smart move might be to structure an agreement. A clause could be included so that, the betrayed spouse, were infidelity to reoccur, would receive, for example, 75% of the wayward spouse's retirement accounts/joint savings and assets, along with alimony. I told him this could work both ways and if I cheated on him (which aside, I would never do, but showing the equal fairness of the contract) he would be eligible to 75% of my retirement accounts/joint savings and assets, plus alimony. We make about the same salary and have similar earning potential, so there isn't a potential imbalance here.

While this on the surface seems like a good piece of insurance, something else other than one's conscience to push them to be faithful...I also think that if I feel the need to have such a contract in my marriage to help "keep him in line" that it's a pretty crap sign about the trust I (one day) may have in him. I shouldn't feel the need to put a contract on our marriage to reinforce that he stays trustworthy. Yet, he's completely screwed up my trust and safety I felt in him and our marriage, so I guess this option might be a good one.
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