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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First [b]you need to stop thinking your way is the only right way to live[/b]. Then you need to both set a plan you can live with- both, he gets input too. If that ends up with you putting aside a certain amount every month that he doesn't need to account for, that could work. I get your feelings about money but seriously, stop shaming this man. That doesn't lead anywhere good. [/quote]

THIS.  I live more like you than your DH, but you are majorly infantilizing him.  The way you talk about him, his family, and his friends is absolutely dripping with condescension.  Not only is that terrible for your relationship, it probably leads him to spend even more out of rebellion.  You should really find a way to make time for therapy, because once you guys get divorced you will have even less control over him.  (You will, however, be free of all of the "fools" he hangs out with, so maybe you would be happier.)[/quote]

+1.  OP I am also like you and see nothing wrong with saving but when two people differ on any major issue you have to respect their perspective, even if you disagree with it.  Sounds like you don't have kids yet, but this happens ALL THE TIME when you disagree on child rearing. We didn't have a lot of money growing up, but my parents were much poorer in their home country - like no electricity, and days without food, poor.  I think people who have been food secure for generations don't really understand the impulse to save.  Forget the differences you perceive between Asians and white people, and your family and his.  You and he need to get on the same page and be on board.

You said you let him plan a 10k vacation and you meekly go along.  What does that mean?  DO you give him the latitude to enjoy the vacation but then act sour the whole time because you perceive it as a waste?  You do come across as really condescending and judgmental, and I understand  your perspective, but you need to rein it in a little. [/quote]

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