Reply to I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Thanks for the responses. I read them all. I have an appointment with a therapist on Friday. Going to talk it through with him but leaning towards saying nothing and trying to move forward.

What would make me even more despicable would be to let it happen again. I am going to learn from this and as pp says, put extra effort in being a better wife and mother.

I made a very bad decision but I don't know if all the parties - DH, myself and DC would be better off if I ultimately told DH and he decided to end our marriage.

I do need to explore why I allowed this to happen. I did have a moment of clarity and thought to myself, get out now why you have the chance but I didn't and I think a lot of that decision had to do with drinking.

I firmly believe I don't have an alcolohol problem. I honestly can't remember the last time I was intoxicated. Probably before DC was born. I was in the moment, mixed different types of liquor and didnt eat dinner plus my time zone was way out of whack. That being said,  I take full responsibility for my actions and as I said, intend on working though this with a therapist but at this juncture I don't believe it is in anyone's best interest to tell.

For those who have asked about AP - I strongly believe he will not  say anything. [b]I see him maybe twice a year, we have no interaction other than these meetings every 6 months. He lives 5000 miles away.[/b]

It just the guilt and shame that I worry will eat away at me. But I have brought that on myself and will not ask for sympathy.[/quote]

This post gave me anxiety, glad I am not OP!!

When he contacts you, and he will, you must be clear that it was a mistake, that you regret it, and that it will never happen again.  Nothing even remotely flirty or warm. Then end all contact. If a secret with a man other than your DH is allowed to simmer you will one day in the future find yourself on your back in some hotel room with your mistake once again between your legs. Make book on it.

[/quote]

Please factor the following into your decision not to tell:  this happened on a work trip.  Before the drinking, you all were together with other colleagues and people saw you.  
Who knows what their other man will tell or has told his co-workers (innocently):  "oh, jane and I went our for a drink".  
Who knows what questions other people are asking.
And then all of sudden you each can't remember what you told to who.  And then a series of coincidences adds up - your DH runs into a work colleague was wasn't even there but who mentions something (innocently) about the trip and how they heard the conference goers stayed out late.  And then he asks you about it and you start down the slippery slope.  [/quote][/quote]

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