Reply to Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

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Reply to "Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Growing up, I wouldn't have missed a tournament for a family wedding either. I made a commitment to my team when I signed up and it would've been pretty unheard of for a player to miss a tournament. His schedule was set first and your wedding was set after. It was your sister's mistake.[b] Also, he is just 14, but if he were even a little older, that tournament could be the difference between being recruited to play in college and not. I think it's important to teach kids the value of commitment.[/b] I do understand that family is important, but c'mon, it's not like he's missing the chance to say goodbye before you die, it's just your wedding. [/quote]

This is nuts.  Parent of multiple soccer players here, Varsity HS and beyond.  If this one tournament (a high school not a club tournament, which means ZERO college coaches would be in attendance) makes the difference between the kid getting recruited or not, the kid isn't good enough.  Trust me, the coaches know about the good kids and watch them for years.

Silly rationalization to make crazy sports parents feel better about their ludicrous choices.  [/quote]

+1. If one tournament is make or break re him getting a shot as a starter on his HS team or him getting a shot at D1 -- guess what, he's no where near good enough. For the kids that truly excel, high school coaches make exceptions; even if the HS coach has a rule of "you miss one tournament, you're not starting" -- if DN is SO fantastic and is otherwise a hard worker at practice and a good all around kid, I can guarantee any coach will want that kind of kid starting, so he'll make an exception for a family event -- maybe the kid would be benched for one game or run extra laps or whatever, but no way a coach is shooting himself in the foot by benching the star player who gave him adequate notice re a family event.

If this is about D1 recruiting -- coaches look out for the right kids for YEARS. Whether or not you play in any one HS tournament will make no different whatsoever -- coaches won't even be there; and they likely won't even care to see film as they'll see you live and in person at many other club tournaments throughout the year, camps that they invite you too etc.

Way too much priority being placed on what a 14 yr old wants. And to the PP who says he'll be surly and angry -- um, welcome to being a teenager son. Teens need to learn they don't run the family and sometimes they need to put on a tie and show up bc it'll make mom and dad and aunt and grandparents happy.[/quote]

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