Reply to Niece called me hysterical. Teen pregnancy, brother kicked her out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

OP, have you and your DH clearly let her know what the consequences are if she does screw up? Do you have an actual concrete plan and will you follow through?

As much as I'd like to be in the "keep helping her" camp, I come from a family littered with relatives who were irresponsible and became teen mothers (thankfully my parents and my immediate family were not among them). They were toxic and ruined their own lives and the lives of those around them (their children, my grandmother, one aunt -- all financially ruined and/or hobbled in some way permanently by their actions).

As much as I hope your niece can turn it around, keeping the baby at 15 is very unlikely to create any reality for her other than someone who turns into something like my relatives -- dependent on others for the (very) long-term... if not a downright mooch. I'm not saying this WILL happen, but I really want you to have an exit strategy if it does. I'm a liberal and think kindness and charity are among the greatest acts we can perform, but only if we don't risk our family members' health and well-being. Your kids need you to protect them more than your niece does, 
so please do stick to that single screw-up limit![/quote]
well, the brother who threw the kid outdoors is a prime example of a downright mooch. He has Jesus so no need to worry about a daughter.
One possibility is that they will change their mind and accept her and welcome the grandchild
[/quote]

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