Reply to If you had an abortion you really didn't want to have

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is off topic- but I'm curious as to what the adoptive moms think is the problem if there are over 100,000 kids in the foster system classified as "awaiting adoption" and there is a apparently a pool of parents eagerly awaiting them.  [/quote]

Attachment disorder is a major issue with kids in foster care. By the time parental rights are terminated, horrible years of neglect, abuse, violence, sexual abuse have likely occurred.  It doesn't make someone a bad person to realistically look at the situation and honestly admit that they are not prepared to take on those kinds of needs from day one.  And attachment disorder cannot be "cured" by just loving a kid enough.  There are more than a few documented cases of adoptive parents having to turn kids back over to the state because the attachment disorder was the root of violent behviaor often directed at other siblings in the home.   The fault lies of course with birth parents who should have been on birth control and then the fault lies with local CPS for focusing one goal only which is reunification.  Im sorry, [b]any parent who commits these acts of abuse and neglect and abuse CANNOT be rehabilitated and should have parental rights terminated as soon as possible[/b]. That the way the kid might have a chance at recovery and would be younger and more likely to be adopted. [/quote]

I don't disagree with your overall point, but I wanted to ask what sorts of things you would consider to be acts of abuse and neglect that cannot be rehabilitated. How serious would an offense have to be for the child to be removed directly to foster care? I am by no means naive about the kinds of horrible home situations that children are all too often returned to, but I also recognize that it's hard to assess whether a child will be more damaged by foster placements and being in the system generally speaking than they will be by remaining with their family of origin. It's been my observation that in many cases, children are kept in their families of origin in cases where the abuse and/or neglect is not so profound that there is no hope of rehabilitating the parent(s). It's just not always that simple.

Interested to hear your thoughts.[/quote]

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