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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP's husband kicks her out but gets upset that OP stays with OM for a few months.....why??? After being kicked out of the home, doesn't she have a right to go where she wants to? And I would ask the same question if genders were reversed.[/quote]

Of course she's free to do whatever she wants and go wherever she wants, but if she doesn't see what's wrong with going to her cheating lover's place to live with him, then she has no business objecting to DH wanting a divorce.  If she wanted to work on rebuilding her marriage, she should have considered what adding salt to the knife wounds that she inflicted on her husband would do.  And because of that, she may find that she has caused a irreparable rift in her marriage.  If she truly wants to rebuild her marriage at this point, her only recourse is to seek the individual therapy that he asks and to stop hiding information from him (she spent 3 years hiding important details from him and now he wants her to rebuild his trust by coming clean with all secrets).  As for performing sexual acts with him, it's really inappropriate of him to ask, but he's responding to being so horribly betrayed that he wants her to prove that she loves him as much as she loves the lover and she should be willing to do what she did with him with her husband.  If she isn't willing, then it proves that she is still not willing to make sacrifices to restore her marriage.  She might as well just divorce and take the shattered remains of the life she destroyed with grace.  But apparently, grace isn't really her style.  [/quote]

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