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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents never talked to me about sex, birth control, anything except to make it clear they did not believe in sex before marriage.

Nevertheless, I started having sex at 16. I had sex with boyfriends in my bedroom in our house when they were not home. Also, I had unprotected sex, and sex with guys I did not know well, at parties and in cars and even in parks outside. I did not have a good situation with regards to sex as a teen.

I don't know exactly how I will handle the whole sleep-overs-for-teenagers question. But I do know I will be open with my kids about sex from the time they are very little, and give them the idea that it's normal and healthy and they can talk to me about anything because I am not going to judge them. I will talk to them not just about the nuts-and-bolts biology but about the tricky emotional issues as well.

I would much rather my older teenagers have protected sex in my house with someone they really care about than get into the kinds of situations I was in. I don't really know how you can say, "This is a healthy, normal thing" while also saying "and you can never, ever do it in my house." It doesn't make sense, somehow.[/quote]

This could have been written by me.  My head is still messed up after years of "sex is bad, we don't talk about it, you just can't ever do it until you're married" attitude.  I'm definitely raising my girls differently![/quote]
How exactly?[/quote]

Not PP, but I agree with the history and sentiment.  My parents were not "sex is bad" fanatics, they just did not prepare me with any information, did not talk about sex or relationships, and had a very unhealthy relationship themselves that was disintegrating while I was going through my teenage years.  I started having sex at 14, hid it very well along with a lot of other behaviors that would disturb many parents.  I was smart enough to figure out birth control, but also was just very lucky.  In particular, I am lucky that college extracted me from a lifestyle that had no long term upside but was a whole lot of fun.  My daughters are young, in elementary school, and I talk to them openly about sex and sexual development in age appropriate ways.  My older DD knows I will give her an honest answer to any question and not judge her.  DH and I have a respectful, loving and fun relationship that I hope is a model of a healthy relationship for our children.

I do not think abstinence is a long term solution.  It is the right answer until a person is ready for a sexual relationship and finds the right person to have that relationship with.  [/quote]

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