Reply to NYT: professional moms who opted out of work after kids are now opting back in

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Reply to "NYT: professional moms who opted out of work after kids are now opting back in"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find the term "gravy train" an obnoxious, envy-laden term. I SAH for 5 or 6 years. I was always planning on going back to work but had a child with special needs. I don't know about other posters but having a child changed me, and I would have done anything for him, and so I did. I "opted out" as you call it, and put my child first for that time. I kept up with industry trends and went back to work 3 years ago at the same level (many other things changed, but same $$). Guess what. Not only had technologies not changed at this place, but my keeping up put me ahead of the curve of the folks who "struggled" and put in the hours and got the promotions. (Bitter much?) They were just drifting I guess. Or just getting by. I added that value and since I also make hiring decisions, I would be really turned off by a candidate who is trumpeting about how she deserves more simply because they stayed in the work force. Yes, but do you contribute? How? Many SAHs can get back up to speed in certain industries. Sometimes you can opt back in. As so many are saying here, it depends on individuals, so stop lumping everyone's choices together. And it's hilarious that you are bitter about "gravy train" SAH. I have done both, and it is not gravy. It was hard, hard work.[/quote]

Agree the term gravy train is obnoxious. But surely you realize your anecdotal experience, while awesome, is not necessarily the norm. There are real stats on what happens in many industries to women who take 5-6 years off. You've been back three years? That means you started back in 2010, and took off in 2004-05. The economy was really different in those 5-6 years and you lucked out. I graduated from grad school in 2005 and sailed into a job that was pretty much exactly what I was looking for. In 2010, 20% of my company got laid off (I was not included in that luckily) and a few months later my husband's entire team was laid off. He got a nice severance package and found something else quickly, since he had known this was coming for a while, but point is, I would not have predicted what happened in 2008-2010 back in 2005. Things change, you were lucky, plus probably had a great in demand skill set, but that's not going to be the case for everyone.

It's not to say that women shouldn't opt out or whatever, but to pretend there are no potential consequences and you can just waltz in to something is not realistic. [/quote]

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