Reply to Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it.

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Reply to "Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell him you’re keeping your own name and the kids that come out of your body will also have your name. (This is very normal these days.)  He’s welcome to join if he wants consistency.[/quote]

I already told him that and he didn't like it. He found the proposal offensive.[/quote]

Love love love.

I wish I had done this. I caved to make him happy just like I caved on our wedding, where we lived, where we traveled. 20 years later, I grew a set of balls and right before our children graduated from high school, I changed their names (double barrel) and took my name back (court order with kids agreement). No big deal. Their high school and college diploma now have both names. It took 20 years of me being disrespected for me to decide to respect myself.

In retrospect, it was a red flag with sirens — Not that he didn’t want to change his name but that he was insistent that I had to change mine and kids could only have his. I made more money, had more net worth, had a better career and he was always threatened by me so he was constantly controlling me. He’s gone now and no regrets here. But this was in the dark ages. Young people should not put up with aholes like this.[/quote]

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