Reply to Predicting spousal support

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t understand why 50/50 on assets plus child support isn’t what you should expect.  Alimony is an injustice to any person.   The marriage is over, but then financially everyone pretends like it isn’t?   [/quote]

Except that one spouse is forced to absorb all the downside of supporting and sacrificing for the other’s career opportunities while the other harvests all the upside. You can’t make it be over unless you have a magical time machine that resets the spouse’s age and opportunities to where they were before they had to stop working. Alimony recognizes the impossibility of that.[/quote]

Why is it always assumed that the “sacrificing” spouse furthered the other spouse’s career? I worked in government, my career trajectory was pretty much set. In my specific situation, my ex was more of a detriment to my career. Not only did I work full time, but I also did most of the cooking, cleaning, child-rearing, etc. Yet I would still hear the same argument about what my spouse “gave up,” when in reality they could have gone back to work at any time during the marriage and chose not to.
[/quote]

Because they do. My DH has never taken kids to doctors, any other appointments, parent-teacher conferences, any school functions, sport practices, nothing at all. Doesn't know teachers, coaches, doctors. Has never met any. Doesn't cook nor clean, has no idea about house management, repairs, taxes, mortgage. One of our kids got accepted to gifted program and I had to drive them to-and-from as this wasn't covered by a school bus. When kids were little, he regularly stayed in his office until 11 pm so that he didn't have to do anything. I wish I didn't get married and had a career instead as I did before getting married! No, I didn't know nor did we agree that everything will to be done by me.  [/quote]

So he cooked and cleaned and paid bills while you were dating? And when the first one was born and he didn't do anything with them you decided to have more kids?[/quote]

I actually stopped at one. Yes, he cooked and cleaned and was paying bills when we were dating. I have a graduate degree. But I am an immigrant, had no work permit (a spousal visa did not allow work) and no family to help out. He literally checked out after the kid was born. [/quote]

So (a) you're not the PP because she said kidS and (b) you couldn't work here anyway, so how is your comment relevant?[/quote]

Because there are many women in the US who are SAHM, not because they're lazy, but because the circumstances were such that they were unable to work. Once you're at home with kids for 10 years, it's very difficult to start anew. Sure, you could say move to your home country, except with US residence laws you CANNOT as the kids have US residency and the moment your husband refuses, and he will, you cannot go anywhere. Even move out of state, not just out of the country. I gave that a thought as in I had my ducks in a row. You're sitting on some high horse where you think you're so smart and can do whatever, while you don't understand nor have any experience on how these things work in reality. [/quote]

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