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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t understand why 50/50 on assets plus child support isn’t what you should expect.  Alimony is an injustice to any person.   The marriage is over, but then financially everyone pretends like it isn’t?   [/quote]

Except that one spouse is forced to absorb all the downside of supporting and sacrificing for the other’s career opportunities while the other harvests all the upside. You can’t make it be over unless you have a magical time machine that resets the spouse’s age and opportunities to where they were before they had to stop working. Alimony recognizes the impossibility of that.[/quote]

Why is it always assumed that the “sacrificing” spouse furthered the other spouse’s career? I worked in government, my career trajectory was pretty much set. In my specific situation, my ex was more of a detriment to my career. Not only did I work full time, but I also did most of the cooking, cleaning, child-rearing, etc. Yet I would still hear the same argument about what my spouse “gave up,” when in reality they could have gone back to work at any time during the marriage and chose not to.
[/quote]

Because they do. My DH has never taken kids to doctors, any other appointments, parent-teacher conferences, any school functions, sport practices, nothing at all. Doesn't know teachers, coaches, doctors. Has never met any. Doesn't cook nor clean, has no idea about house management, repairs, taxes, mortgage. One of our kids got accepted to gifted program and I had to drive them to-and-from as this wasn't covered by a school bus. When kids were little, he regularly stayed in his office until 11 pm so that he didn't have to do anything. I wish I didn't get married and had a career instead as I did before getting married! No, I didn't know nor did we agree that everything will to be done by me.  [/quote]

So he cooked and cleaned and paid bills while you were dating? And when the first one was born and he didn't do anything with them you decided to have more kids?[/quote]

Everyone cooks and cleans and pays bills when dating.

And[b] if you have already mommy-tracked yourself or decided to be home outside of school hours to take care of one kid, why not have more?[/b]  [/quote]

Um, because more kids are more work? If you wanted more kids with a useless husband then go ahead and do it but stop complaining about it. [/quote]

Pp here.  I’m not scared of work.  I just cannot physically be at work and be home at the same time.  If DH is more or less gone or at least not predictably around, then I have to be home outside of daycare hours or the hours a decent nanny is willing to work.  [b]Whether I can’t work because I have to be home with one kid or five kids is irrelevant. [/b] And if your husband isn’t predictably home, it’s nice to have a few more faces talking and joking around the dinner table.  [/quote]

Sure, if you're talking a singleton versus quintuplets, but I assume the five kids would be spaced out. I don't know how to help you if you can't figure out that you'd be out of work for much longer with five kids than you would with one. And the fact that you'd have more kids so that you would be less lonely since your husband isn't home is quite possibly one of the dumbest things I've ever read on here. [/quote]

Once you have devoted all of your family’s energy to supporting one person’s career for 5-10 years, that’s the main career.  And, honestly, if I one spouse makes enough money to support your family and your income truly does not matter, it feels selfish to  work more or to leave your kids with a sitter or not be able to take a family vacation or whatever because you have to work.

As far as the spacing, please.  No future employer cares if you were out of the workforce or working part time for 16 years vs 22 years.  If you want your kids, you should have them. [/quote]

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