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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a now adult woman who was once a teen girl whose Dad did exactly what OP describes, allow me to remind the “what’s the big deal” posters that the trauma my dad inflicted on our family has never gone away. The complicated family holidays, the awkwardness at family events, the impending problems with health care proxies, estate division, and relationships with grandchildren…it just keeps going. My father imploded our lives because he met a woman who worshiped him (she was also a personality disordered soon to be alcoholic but that didn’t matter as much as her care of my dad’s ego).

People act like these choices exist in a vacuum. They don’t, and the reverberation effects just keep going. The people who call this “not a big deal” are effectively saying that the women and children affected by these men don’t matter. We do. [/quote]

Life is messy.  Grow up.[/quote]

Lol, you’re exactly who I’m talking about. Men like my dad, and maybe you, always have and probably will continue to casually detonate other people’s lives in pursuit of their own “happiness”. But as one of my favorite teachers always said, there’s no free lunch. Everyone sees my dad for who he is. And now that I’ve had my own children, I know exactly what he was willing to give up by walking away from us. Life may be messy, but somehow I’ve managed to keep that mess out of my own children’s lives.

You can ignore how you hurt other people. But rest assured in the end, you will be seen for who you are.[/quote]

New poster here. I’m in the middle of the situation right now where he is decided to leave and I found out he has a affair going on the side.. We have two teenagers and they are devastated as am I. The fact is, he was never emotionally mature enough to work on the marriage and I still tried my hardest. He is leaving also in his pursuit of.” happiness.”. He’s getting a bachelor pad and is a fair partner is on the other side of the country. No one is in his family saw this coming. They are all shocked. They thought he was incredibly happy. And of course, the only thing he wants to do with her teenager who is still a minor is being involved in their sport.[/quote]

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