Reply to How to forgive spouse for initiating a gray divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Look, marriage is like nuclear launch — two people need to turn the keys.  If he’s not happy, you’ll never be happy.  And why spend your waning decades like that?  You are avoiding years of taking care of an aging grouchy man — once thy hit 70, men start to decline fast and the woman almost always is the main caretaker and the target for their irritation at their own decline.  You get a free pass from this!  You can start looking at fun over 55 communities that will help you build new female friends.  
So many cranky older couples that just carp at each other and make their adult children miserable.  Don’t be that!  
[/quote]

I totally agree with this.  My dad declined first at 60, and at 70, he's just a grouchy old man who can barely walk up stairs.  All the difficult parts of his personality are magnified by age.  He would've done my mom a huge favor to get a divorce in his 50s, especially since he's super controlling with money.  She could've had full access to half their assets, and she would've been free of caretaking obligations, which are just starting to come her way. [b] I guess I'm glad he didn't leave back then, because he's still my mom's burden and not mine.  I do really appreciate that.[/b]  [/quote]
$10 to Tuesday she still stays to protect you and your siblings from him and his demands.

Ask her. [/quote]

This is not needed (I am a DP, child of a difficult parent whose spouse never left “out of guilt”). Children aren’t thankful, I can guarantee. [/quote]

Well the set of cousin in laws I know, the parents divorced and the dad leeched on to his elderly mother. Then when she died he leached on to his son & the newlywed wife. Demanded to move in with them, calls all the time, carelessly damages their stuff, tries to get in their house all the time.  Really stubborn selfish and codependent behavior. [/quote]

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