Reply to Has anyone stayed with a spouse after they had an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=eastcoastmom]OP here. It is difficult to believe that this was 5 years ago. I wanted to update to help others who are facing a similar situation.

-I ended up staying after a very brief separation. He did intensive therapy, an outpatient alcohol program, left his job (where the AP was) and has only worked at jobs which require minimal travel. Most importantly, we signed a post-nup with a cheating clause bc I made it very clear that I'm not going through this again.  
-My decision was heavily influenced by the fact that my parents are both deceased and the thought of giving up my family and having the kids 1/2 time was not even remotely appealing to me. My oldest DD also had anxiety and I think she would have really struggled.
-my kids have thrived the past few years. DD is off to college and youngest is only a few years away. We have had memorable family trips, holidays, shared family experiences that I would not trade for anything.
-BUT with all that being said, I will never truly feel the same and the biggest gift I gave myself was freeing myself from making any permanent decisions right away. I chose to stay bc it was right for me and my kids at that particular time. I do not know how I will feel when my youngest leaves and that is okay. My DH insists that he is in this for life but I still don't know for certain what I want to do.
-Sorry for the long post but really just want to emphasize that you have to think about the specifics of your particular situation when making a decision and those specifics include your kids, finances, your support network and how much your spouse is willing to work for it. [/quote]
THis is an interesting update. Can you share what's in your postnup? [/quote]

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