Reply to Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s

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[quote=Anonymous]"The kid thing wont change, so OP’s best bet is to figure out why he has such a low tolerance for emotions and fix that."

I'm getting annoyed on OP's behalf at all the people harping on his tattoos. That is NOT his problem. They are hidden under his clothing. Once someone has slept with him a few times and spent a couple of months with him, that isn't going to matter when it comes to whether she wants to stay with him.

I do think that there are some emotional issues that OP should confront head-on with a therapist. Like OP, I come from an intact nuclear family and all but one of my siblings and I are divorced/single. There are things that having married parents can do to mess with one's notion of what you want in a partner and how well you can navigate a serious relationship. I was definitely self-sabotaging my relationships for many years, both in terms of the men I was choosing and the way in which I "showed up" and expected them to. This was all invisible to me as I was doing it. All I knew was that even though I never had a problem getting a BF when I was under 30, none of the relationships led to a proposal or even living together. Even after 30, I kept moving to other cities for adventure/school/jobs but didn't see that this was me being unavailable. This resulted in me not attracting men who wanted an available woman. Anyway, it's very possible that OP is going through something along the same vein. Just because you have parents who made it to their 50th anniversary does not mean you aren't carrying baggage from your family of origin. [/quote]

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