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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Had you left the stove on with the pot still simmering on it but not told him OR
 
Did he come downstairs to a pot that was not on the stove and full of a murky, dirty looking liquid?

Was he cleaning up the kitchen?

I know everyone thinks that every husband is an abuser and psychobabble gets thrown around - and you have written this in a way that ensures that happens. Would he write it the same way? Without being a fly on the wall, I take all these my husband is the worst human on the planet and I am an absolute saint who never does anything wrong but he treats me like he is Satan himself posts with a gran of salt.

When men complain about abusive wives, the responses are always that only abusers complain about being abused and that the one saying they are abused is the abuser and is responsible. [/quote]

It was on the stove cooling after I had just turned it ofd. I believe he honestly did not know I was making stock and so he dumped it out. That is frustrating but easy to forgive. [b]The part I found infuriating was his reaction.[/b][/quote]

His reaction to how YOU handled his mistake?[/quote]

Um, he didn’t even say he was sorry. [/quote]

Um, you were wanting a sorry for something he did on accident. Which is fine, I will apologize for things I didn't mean to do when they have an unintended outcome, but if I stepped on someone's toe and before I knew I had done it they got mad at me about it I think I'd have a much different reaction than if I knew I did it and could say I was sorry before they spoke. [/quote]

You have some anger issues.

I mean, people get mad when you demean them or keep them from doing something that’s important to them.  So if you stepped on someone’s toe hard enough that they can’t just keep walking and doing whatever they were doing, then they are going to be mad.  
They aren’t trying to belittle you by not letting you apologize first before they get mad.  They aren’t terrible people for not “taking a deep breath and calibrating their response.”  Just say you are sorry and ask if you can help. 
[/quote]

Actually, I don't have anger issues but thanks for your internet diagnoses...

Stepping on someone's toe isn't demeaning someone. Neither is throwing out stock sitting on the stove, by the way.

Maybe you have a hard time distinguishing between feelings and actions. You can FEEL mad that someone stepped on your toe. (Weird, by the way, that you're accusing me of having anger issues when I don't think it would occur to me to be MAD at someone who stepped on my toe on accident). But ACTING mad at someone for doing something like that on accident isn't really acceptable. Of course they should apologize for stepping on your toe because they did it even though it wasn't intentional. And it hurt you, so they should say they're sorry. But the fact that you think it's ok for someone to act mad at someone for stepping on their toe shows me that you're the one who should probably seek help. [/quote]

Well, as I said in the post you responded to, it would only be reasonable for people to be mad if you stepped on their toe so hard that it kept them from continuing to walk and go about their day.

And yes.  It’s reasonable to be mad if someone keeps you from doing something important to you, even if it’s unintentional.

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