Reply to If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

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Reply to "If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Are we just passionate people, two "high drives" lucky enough to find each other?  I'm sure our temperaments are part of it.  But what is much more important, what is MOST important, is that we know what sex means:  its purpose, its message, its profundity.
If you don't know what sex is all about, you're going to miss the mark, sometimes badly.  You wouldn't put sand in your gas tank, and similarly disastrous consequences follow from misunderstanding how sex works and why it is designed the way it is.
What does sex mean to you, OP?  What is its purpose?  Apologies in advance if you've already shared this, but I need to know where you are coming from to try to help you get where you want to go.[/quote]

Sex is feeling that I still have a place in this marriage besides the 2 kids.  Sex is a release and I'm horny. Sex is me pleasing DW and watching her lose herself.  Sex is connecting DW and I since there is no us time anymore with 2 kids.  Sex (happening) means that I did not just suffer yet another rejection again. [/quote]

OP?  I assume that is you answering my question--I'm the PP you're responding to.

Thank you for answering.  There is a great deal of truth in what you say, but not the whole truth.

First, because sex has objective meaning, independent of your personal perspective, your wife's perspective, anyone's perspective.  It has a design, a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual design.  It's designed perfectly.  We are free to use it as intended or not, but when we misuse it, it becomes a powerful force that cause immense pain.

Second, you only mention emotional bonding and physical pleasure and mental connection.  You don't say anything about a union of two souls, or, even more important, about the possibility of new human life.

Sex is about bonding, pleasure, AND babies.  Sex is a renewal of your wedding vows, every time, and it needs to had the same aspects:  free, total, faithful, and (potentially) fruitful.  If you cut any of those aspects out, your sex life will suffer.

Because then it becomes a session of using one another, instead of giving of one selves.  No one likes to be used, and usin another human being is a detriment to the user.

Before you dismiss my position as ridiculous, just think about it a little more.  If you took away any of those attributes from your wedding vows, that would mess things up, wouldn't it?  We humans are body and soul.  We express ourselves through our bodies.  What are you sayin to your wife when you make love to her?  "I need this, and I am taking it from you"?  Or "I love you, and I am giving all of myself to you, of my own free will, nothing held back, come what may, only you, for as long as I live, and I know you are doing the same in return"?

The way you described sex is more a description of masturbation.  Sex is so, so, so much more.  True sex is so profoundly awesome, you and your wife would want it every single chance you had if only you knew what it could be like.

Simply put, sex is a reflection of the Divine.  It is the way new human life comes into being.  It unites two separate people into one, and if they are healthy and it's the right day of the month, an entirely unique person can result.  The creativity, vulnerability, intimacy, joy, comfort, pleasure, bliss, beauty...only possible when it is respected for its full, true meaning.  Anything less is unsatisfying at best, grotesque at worst.

Theology of the body.  Just look into it.  There could be something to it, and look at where things stand right now?  Not good?  Why not at least consider that you don't have a full understanding of sex, and that once you do, you AND your wife will want to have it, all the time?[/quote]

9 kid lady?  I always like your posts, very thoughtful. I don't always agree, but you always make me think. [/quote]

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