Reply to BF said choose marriage or a career

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you don’t take this job are you out a career? Or is this just a cool opportunity that you’ll have to work to find again?

If the former, you truly lose your career if you don’t take it, then it’s important. If it’s just delaying a promotion to turn it down/there are other promotable opportunities nearby then it is very understandable he’s upset. You are not prioritizing the relationship.

I have been married 17 years. Both of us have turned down our “dream job” at various points because that would have harmed our marriage and later our family. Did I have a Really Cool Opportunity to work abroad at one point that I turned down to prioritize the marriage? You bet. Do I still have a great career stateside? Yes. Has he turned down promotions or roles that would have kept him away from home more? Yes. Has he found other promotions and roles with more money that still carved out the desired family time? Yes.

There will be more career opportunities (unless there is more to the story). If this guy is worth it, don’t threaten leaving for a job of all things.

And if you do, that’s a valid choice but it should be a clue that the relationship isn’t that important comparatively.[/quote]
Would you have turned down your dream job for a bf of 1.5 yrs? Its not a marriage. He hasn't even put a ring on it. Your situation seems totally different. [/quote]

[b]I did, actually![/b] We had been dating for 16 months. I got an offer for a job back in LA, near family. Great job, payed decently more than here, an hour from where I grew up vs a 6 hour flight with plane changes. His job prospects were only here (federal work). [b]I told him the only thing keeping me here was him[/b], so I needed to know he viewed the relationship as serious and heading towards marriage, else I had nothing to stay for and was going to LA. [b]He proposed the following week[/b]. We’ve been married for 17 years, all in the dc area. I regret nothing. My career has been just fine here, I’ve worked the entire time we’ve been married and had plenty of great local opportunities.[/quote]
So no. You didn't. You stayed for a fiance, but you would have left a bf. You are giving the opposite advice to OP than what you did. [/quote]

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