Reply to Don't get fat and happy just because you've been married for over 20 years.

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Reply to "Don't get fat and happy just because you've been married for over 20 years."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe her focus on more important matters is what drew Petraeus to her in the fist place and kept them married for 37 years.[/quote]

Sure that's it, 'more important matters.'  Not the fact that every cadet in the place wanted the superintendent's cute daughter and he was the one to snag her and marry her 2 days after graduation.

You're telling me she might WANT to look that way?  Then why did she go clothes-shopping with Jill Kelley?  No one would choose to look that way, they just don't know what to do about it.

I see my mom when I look at her.  Admiral's wife with no self-esteem, depression-era frugality and a fear of drawing attention to herself.[/quote]

Feel sorry for your mom having a daughter that doesn't respect her. [/quote]

I am not the poster to whom you responded, but when I read this my hackles went up. You feel sorry for the poster's mum, because voicing critique is synonymous with disrespect, did I get this right? 
This is the most ludicrous statement that I read on this message board in a long time! First, respect is not automatic; it has to be earned. Second, children do not automatically owe their parents respect. There are many children who grow up into decent adults despite, not because of, their parents. I am a social worker, so I see my share of this on a daily basis. Third, respect does not mean that one cannot see another person's flaws and problems. Quite the opposite! I would much rather be surrounded by people who provide constructive feedback and help me overcome my problems than with those who simply ignore them.

This is off topic, but a few years ago, I had a client who was the spitting image of the admiral's wife described above: no self-esteem, afraid of sticking out, convinced that she was unworthy of love and attention. She was naturally introverted, but the real reason for her behaviour was her upbringing - a mother who kept telling her that she was worthless (I guess she should have respected her for that, right?) - and the resulting self-loathing. After an almost-suicide attempt (she claimed the overdose of sleeping pills was an accident) she was referred to me thanks to her oldest daughter who had recognised her mother's issues for years unlike the husband and older siblings who just"respected" her too much to do anything. Thanks to her daughter's disrespect, she underwent therapy, started volunteering, took some adult classes, got a new look, and most importantly she is finally enjoying her life. Her relationship with her youngest daughter and her grandchildren is greatly improved, and the two are now quite close -- all because the daughter "disrespected" her and finally took the steps needed to help.

In conclusion, let me give you some advice: Think, before you spout rubbish. It will prevent you from looking like a fool![/quote]

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