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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - for those asking for an update. Grandma went to see the newborn. Nothing was said by birthday child’s family. No plans to reschedule the visit from either end. Sister with the baby has texted multiple pictures of the baby and updates to everyone after icing everyone out for months. People responded with congratulations. [/quote]

Glad you saw the newborn.  Why didn't you ask the birthday family if you could visit another time and a day that worked for them?  Maybe send them flowers or something too.  Make some kind of gesture.

My in-laws have done this several times to us.  We live a flight away (or a 12-16+ hour drive we did during Covid) but my SILs kids live 10 minutes away.  In-laws always choose them.  Last summer we asked a time that would work for my in-laws to visit.  My DH specifically asked that our kids get a couple days just alone with grandparents because they don't get that experience.  SIL's in-laws, so other grandparents, also live close-by, maybe a 25-30 minute car ride away.  This didn't happen.

We visit when they ask and every time we go my in-laws rush to my SIL (even though she and her spouse make more $, and live in a LCOL area and could afford childcare in the summer) to give them free childcare.  SIL and BIL wanted to go to a concert when we visited last summer and in-laws went over and babysat and we had no idea where they went!  And for the record our kids are well behaved and love their family.

If you can't take one day to spend with your other grandkids 3x a year when we fly to visit then I can't help you.  My DH talked to them and my MIL tries to make an effort (my FIL clearly favors one particular grandkid), but you can tell the other grands are the favorite.  
I understand in a way, they live very close and she sees them more.  But my kids are starting to see it and my son said something during his last visit with my DH.  I was not there, but my DH said our son said something to them.  He wanted our kid to apologize and I said, "for what?  For speaking the truth and calling them out for favoring the other grandkids?  everyone sees it, so let's not gaslight our own child.  Maybe having the grandkid share their feelings will make them rethink how they treat our kids."

Anyway, enough of my rant.  Not everything needs to be equal, but we are very easy going and have sort of been pushed to the side and we have almost had enough of it.  Don't be like that.  Do your best and love everyone, but someone also needs to call our your child for not speaking to everyone for months and then expecting you to drop everything and go see her and the newborn.  If this is a usual thing, then next time she does it, I would pass.  My SIL knows her parents will come when she calls and she always does it when we visit for some reason.  I am an adult, so I can handle it, but when you start messing with my kids I won't allow it.  
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