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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Mom’s Who Left Career to SAHP"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s really amazing to me that so many smart and well educated women seem to believe that the only way to be intellectually engaged is by working some job. [/quote] What other ways do you suggest?[/quote] Idk, I’m a working mom and my job at a F500 stopped being intellectually stimulating around the time I returned from my first maternity leave six years ago. I am burnt out from trying to be both a mother and employee to my standards. Frankly, I’m not sure why people feel it’s their place to pressure women to be “intellectually stimulated” through full time work while also carrying most of the weight of childcare. I’m not sure who needs to hear this, but it’s okay to want to be a present, full time parent and make room for that in your life. It’s okay if being “intellectually stimulated” takes a back seat to raising your kids in that season of life. And yes, there are ways to be intellectually stimulated without working in some corporate job. Most jobs are not exactly intellectual or stimulating. I work in a stuffy corporate financial services environment and my job bores me to death. [b]I’d rather be reading, at a book club, writing, reading a NYT article, teaching my kids their alphabet, or spending time with the amazing people they are and are becoming. All of those things are both more stimulating and meaningful to me than redundant meetings and town halls done by one of thousands of cogs in the wheel. [/b]I am replaceable at work, but I’m not replaceable to my kids. If I could afford to, I’d quit and go back to work when I was ready[/quote] I’m baffled by really anyone who would rather work for a corporation/organization than be free to do whatever they’d like. I can possibly understand if you own your own company that is somewhat interesting work. But a corporation or the federal government? No way. I have a desirable career and know at the end of the day I’m a cog in the wheel. I have to attend pointless meetings, enter leave in a system, spend most of my day responding to emails and Teams chats, and subject to ridiculous RTO rules where I commute to sit alone in a conference room in Teams. I am working because they pay me money. Reading a book of my choice is more intellectually stimulating than this. [/quote] Well, your job sounds like it sucks. I work at home, help people, and find my job mostly fulfilling. I can think of one pointless meeting I've had this year, the rest have had purpose. Of course I email people, but the communications serve a purpose. I like interacting with my co-workers and laugh with them at least once a day. And I do find my job intellectually stimulating. I think everyone is different, and many jobs are different. If I didn't get paid to do this I would do some version of it for free, so why not get paid a ton to work at home in my yoga pants?[/quote] Most jobs are not work from home anymore. I have worked remotely for a long time, but my company is no longer hiring people remotely so my flexibility will end soon. Working remotely is one of the main things that kept me in the workforce since I’ve had kids. it’s also not the panacea you make it out to be - I am still working all day while my kids are in school and with a babysitter. They are home on days off while I work. Most jobs require 3-5 days a week in an office plus 1-3 hours of commuting per day, meaning you see your kids for 1-3 hours at night before everyone goes to sleep. A lot of sahp parents would not understand why anyone who could afford not to do that would want to. It’s fine to find your job stimulating. It’s great. It’s fine to prefer to work. It’s fine to prefer to be home and be more present for your kids. Ideally there’s a balance but with the decrease in remote work opps, its not going to be as simple as you make it out to be[/quote] I used to be a working mom. I went from a demanding job to a less demanding and also less fulfilling job and eventually stopped working. When I was working, I always had work looming over me. I always had a deliverable I was thinking about or an email or 10 i had to return. I felt like I wasn’t giving my 100% at work or at home. I felt like I had less than one hour of quality time with my kids. Mornings were a rush to get out the door. Evenings were dinner, bath and bed time. It did not feel like enough time together. I used to hate all the events during the work day - staff appreciation, Halloween parade, holiday party, parent teacher conferences, any or all kid related appointments. It felt like a lot and it was a lot. Now I am the one planning and volunteering at the school events. I have a full life of spending quality time with friends and family. [/quote]
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