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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]OP, have the playdate! You can’t get upset about this sort of thing. Five kindergarteners is a lot. Smaller gatherings are okay. There is probably a sixth girl feeling left out too. 
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And for goodness sake get off social media. [/quote]

+1.  It's possible they're just closer as adults and wanted to get together.  It may be that if they felt like they invited your DD then they needed to invite 2 more, or all of the girls in the class, or whatever.  The line gets drawn somewhere.  And yes, maybe they're even jerks.  Let it go, avoid on social media if it makes you upset, and do the big-tent playdate if you want to this summer.  It's only as big of a deal as you make it in your own head.

- Mom who is definitely not in the inner circle of the "cool moms" and sometimes gets a little FOMO about it, but have done a pretty good job of just getting on with things and treating others the way I'd want to be treated

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Good advice. OP, not sure if this will make you feel better or worse, but no one is 100% inclusive. Even you. We constantly have to make decisions about who to invite. Did you host every girl from your daughter’s class over the school year? Are you planning on inviting every girl from the class over this summer? If not, there was probably a girl on the fringe who felt left out. Social media makes these occurrences seem personal, but before social media we were all regularly being excluded from some activity or another, we just didn’t know about it.

You will be very unhappy for the next 10 years of school if you perseverate on the injustice of the social dynamics among moms. By middle school, kids exercise more choice in their friends, so you can look forward to that. [/quote]

Some do a better job than others.   In elementary school we had an early day once a month.  I’d invite all the girls in my daughter’s class to come over or we’d go somewhere fun. It was a small class probably about 7 girls.  One mother refused to let her daughter come because the class bully would come.  The girls didn’t usually hang out together but they all got along great when we went out.

We also invited the whole class plus others to birthday parties.  It’s not difficult if you rent a venue and hire help.  We rented a roller skating rink right after school before they opened  the public for example.    I do think it’s the mothers who can be insensitive.  Who cares which mothers you like?  It’s a play date about the children.   [/quote]

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