Reply to SAHM friend divorcing against her will

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Depends on the state but a prenup he sprung on her three days before? That could get thrown out. That's seen as duress by some states.

But that does not mean she will get alimony. [b]Not for more than a year or two. Most women don't get alimony for long these days[/b]. She SHOULD get child support tho.
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Not entirely true - depends on the state.  Here in Va, the standard is alimony for half of the length of the marriage and anything over 20 years your looking at potential lifetime alimony (assuming there’s a discrepancy in incomes - which there is in OPs friends case).  
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Even so, most women still don't get alimony. Often men don't make enough to support two households. Married 10 years, fed attorney husband, I worked and no alimony.[/quote]

I know lots of people that are getting alimony bc of a discrepancy in pay.  A teacher married to an attorney, for example, will be granted alimony.  The length of time is based on the length of the marriage as a Pp pointed out.  [/quote]

Friend served his cheating wife after youngest turned 18.  She never worked, 50.  She gets no child support, obviously. She gets very limited alimony with a time limit. Did not get the McMansion - is in a rental apartment and struggling to find real work. Trying to get more of his retirement but he changed jobs a lot.

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Let this be a lesson to young women out there - not to not be a SAHM, that's fine if that's your choice, but to protect yourself. If you're not going to work for 18 years, you better make sure you have your own money and assets. [/quote]

You all seem to forget: if you're a SAHM of a very high earner, half of those earnings are yours. Half that house is hers. They can sell and she walks with half the equity--even if it was funded entirely by him. Even if--since he sounds so awful--he put only his name on the deed. None of that matters. Marital assets are half hers. Hopefully he was at least a high earner. If your husband is not a super high earner, I agree, do not be a SAHM.[/quote]
Does that apply if he had the house prior to marriage? It may not be considered a marital asset.[/quote]
So true! This isnt some helpless woman who was "sucked dry" as a pp said. Sounds like she had a pretty f***ing cozy life for the last 18 yrs sitting at home. There is no reason a 47 y/o can't get a job. It's really disgusting that people are treating a fully grown adult woman like a child here. [/quote]

Of course she can get a job.  Just not a job that will actually support her and her kid.

You are so blinded by your hatred of this woman you don’t know for choosing a different path than you did that you are essentially agreeing that society should subsidize this woman (via welfare, tax breaks, etc.) for the rest of her life so that her husband (who agreed to support her but then left her high and dry) can keep most of their assets for himself.

This is no different than the people raging against minimum wage increases while failing to realize that we’re ALL supporting these underpaid workers to allow the wealthiest members of society to become even wealthier.[/quote]
Huh? I don't hate anyone. Why do you think she can't get a job that would support her and her child? You do realize that outside of this forum/city, most people aren't making $500k/yr. People support themselves and their family on regular jobs. I don't support him keeping more of his assets - she should get half, whatever she is entitled to. I just don't agree with never ending alimony and people saying this adult can't possibly support herself. It's bizarrely infantilizing and makes women look very lazy and entitled. [/quote]

I think you well know that she cannot support herself in the same way that someone who had worked for all those years can. When you give up working, you give up working experience that contributes to your future job opportunities and income potential.  When you go back to work, it is at a far, far lower salary than you would have had if you'd stayed in the workforce, and that is the differential which alimony was created to address. [/quote]
Alimony was actually created to support a woman who COULDN'T work or own property, until a time she re-married and had another man to support her. This isn't relevant at all in 2025. Of course she can support herself. [/quote]

No, my husband’s ex got lifetime and got remarried and still gets it.  They were only married 10 years.  Divorced before 30. [/quote]

Then he had the worst lawyer on the planet [/quote]

Or her husband is a liar.[/quote]

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