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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My boyfriend is an amazing man. He’s very smart, hilarious, gentle, kind, emotionally available, and very loving.

His one bad trait is that he’s not a breadwinner. His career is unorganized, he hates his job, is underemployed, and has no ambition.

We are mid-late 30s and want kids asap.

I have a good career and make pretty good money. I never planned to be the primary breadwinner though. I think I could financially swing it, if he remains supportive and I rev up my career more. if you’ve taken a similar path, any regrets?[/quote]

I'm a 50-year-old married woman who dated someone just like this in my late 20s. We broke up because his underemployment and lack of ambition eventually became a significant strain, holding us back from the life we (really, I) envisioned. The truth is, raising kids is stressful and expensive, with much of that burden often falling on moms—whether they're the breadwinner or not. Why add to this stress by choosing to bring children into the world with someone who can't or won't contribute financially, either now or in the future? Unless you have a bottomless trust fund, resentment will creep in and you might not see it now, but it will impact your marriage. That breakup was hard though because he was great in so many ways and he truly did love me. Love is not enough though.[/quote]

This. Life is unpredictable, OP. Choose wisely or your future kids may hate you. A lazy father and not enough money to do what the other kids do is not going to make them feel kindly towards you. It’s not about earning, it’s about him being lazy, unmotivated and liking playing the victim. If not, he’d find something else. He’s looking for a sugar mama deal.[/quote]

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