Reply to Would you be resentful if your partner worked only 3-4 hours a day?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So many people who go off to office desk jobs only work 3-4 hours a day, for real.[/quote]

Sure, but presumably OP is at home, where she could actually get a lot done with those extra hours. [/quote]

Except she worked hard to get herself this flexibility. Why does she have to turn it into drudgery? (Assuming that the house is clean and the meals are cooked and all that.)[/quote]

I make about 5 times what my wife does.  I worked hard to get to this point.  Sometimes, she's busier than I am.  Are you suggesting that I sit on my ass while she's working if there's something that needs to be done for the house, or for our kid, if it exceeds my allotted 50% of work?  That's insane. [/quote]

There are two distinct threads here (at least):

- One scenario in which OP and her husband both have a pretty fair list of chores that they handle. And they handle them - the stuff is done. And neither of them is so busy that they are on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Life feels normal. I don't see any reason that OP has to take on more than what she is doing in this scenario. She doesn't have to make busy during the hours that someone who is less smart, driven, and lucky than she is would ordinarily be at their 9-5, or 8-6, or whatever. She is allowed to enjoy the fruits of her labor - fruits she made for herself because her spouse needed her to be more flexible, due to his less flexible dream job.

- The other scenario is one in which OP's husband is super stressed, can't get his chores done, feels like there aren't enough hours in the day, yada yada. I haven't heard any indication that we are in this scenario. Except the one post where OP's husband didn't get around to the dishes - his chore - one night because he was on his phone, then got annoyed with OP for not having picked up his slack. If we are in this scenario, then yes it is worth revisiting their responsibilities. But like heck I am going to tell OP that she's a bad person for working hard to get herself this flexible, remunerative situation - and now she has to turn THIS into some drudgery hell because her husband wanted a regular 9-5 instead.[/quote]

I am a new poster who lives like Option #1, and I think my husband and I are happy. He is aware that he is less efficient than me. He is the one that runs a business and has longer hours than my corporate job. Although I travel at least  once a month and there are times I work 80 plus hours when I’m working on a deal. He isn’t begrudging when I’m slow and watching trash TV eating a leisurely lunch or going out for a quick pedicure. He knows I make a lot of money and hold the health insurance. I know I would never have gotten to this senior point in my career without all his support with kid stuff, etc when I was moving up the ranks and working all the time. I also make enough money that we outsource a lot of hard labor, but I manage those folks too (which is a pain). I’ve also never tried to “hide” how busy or not busy I am. But no, I’m not taking over the laundry (which he has done from the start of our marriage) because I’m having a slow week unless he says “hey I can’t get to it, would you mind?”[/quote]

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