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[quote=Anonymous]The costs of sahp are significant and varied, no doubt. But once you really see and understand what very young children need, it’s very hard to unsee it. They are not wired to follow rules and comply every second. To have everything they eat, how they sleep, how they potty train and what they touch be decided for maximum expediency and minimal risk. To have rotating caregivers who may be loving but have significant personal burdens in terms of finances, commutes, trauma. To be around so many other children in the same stage. Kids absorb everything—and they are actually wired to develop autonomy and explore from birth. That’s what fortifies their mental health.

I truly hope there will be a shift in which society demands more for kids in terms of nurturing, nutrition and education. We miraculously managed to move away from physical punishment, which was status quo and lauded by professionals and religious leaders for millennia.

This needn’t be gendered: I know multiple dads who took a year off to care for kids (fed sabbatical, European company leave, gardening leave) and mom did too. So at least the child gets to age 2. Other parents find a nanny share and deal with the logistics to find someone exceptional. I don’t care who stays home or doesnt—I just think we are deluding ourselves about American childcare norms. [/quote]

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