Reply to My wife thinks I need to see a therapist, I think I'm aware of my problems

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I mean, I described pretty exhaustively what I’ve done and what has worked. This feels like a trick question - [b]what’s the metric by which we decide I’ve tried hard enough? [/b]When I break down and talk to a stranger about my dad?

The things that I want to improve in my life seem pretty clear cut and so does the list of things that I can use to address them. Of course the self awareness doesn’t help if I don’t pursue those things… but the question is [b]what is there to gain from this traditional talk therapy about childhood trauma?[/b][/quote]

Many people have explained that therapy isn't just dwelling endlessly on your childhood or calling it traumatic (which seems to be a concern of yours, from how often you bring it up). More typically, therapy looks more like a person sharing a current-day issue (I got so frustrated with my bike chain, for example), and the therapist helping to identify other similar present-day situations, like maybe the client often gets emotionally overwhelmed when X happens. Then they might troubleshoot how to prevent X or manage the reactions when they come. [i]Sometimes[/i], the situations or reactions might mimic something that happened at another time in our lives--childhood, adolescence, another relationship. Sometimes realizing there is a connection between past events and current reactions can make it easier to talk through and dial down the intensity of what happens now. Therapy isn't about dwelling on the past--it's about changing how you interact with the present.

Re: your first question on the metric for deciding you've tried hard enough, this all started because you said your wife kept suggesting therapy. It seems like rather than asking us, you should be asking [i]her[/i] what the metric is.[/quote]

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