Reply to Fiancé wants a church wedding

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Fiancé wants a church wedding "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You both don't need to be Catholic. [b]One of you should be[/b] and also registered at the church or a church that his family is registered at. You can't just waltz into any church and demand a wedding ceremony. You will need to be registered parishioners, or use his family church, and complete the wedding prep (Pre-Cana), and just jump through all the hoops.

But your post is very off putting all about you, and what you want. You're supposed to be getting married, it's not all about you.[/quote]
No. One of them must be Catholic to be married in a Catholic church.[/quote]

Well, the fiancé is. But the point in this case is that the fiancé is Catholic enough to meet the criteria. But he is not practicing and might say he's not Catholic. But if he was raised Catholic he's been baptized, had his Communion and is confirmed. As far as the Church is concerned, he's Catholic. [/quote]
Yes, the fiancé is Catholic. The point you’re ignoring is the first pp said one [i]should[/i] be Catholic. There’s no [i]should[/i] about it with the Catholic church. That’s a [b]must[/b]. [/quote]

I said that. Then I clarified. [b]I said "should" because most people getting married in the Church are there because they want to be, they are in good standing[/b]. The fiancé is Catholic, being born and raised, but seems now to be lapsed. If you're lapsed should you still consider yourself Catholic?[/quote]
You are making zero sense. There is no [i]should[/i] about it with a Catholic wedding. It’s a must or there’s no Catholic wedding. [/quote]

[b]He is a Catholic in the eyes of the church[/b]. We know this. But, how he identifies is another thing. Which goes back to OP's point that should they just go along with it for appeasement or is it a mockery? They can have the Catholic wedding, but should they?[/quote]
That’s all that matters if he wants to be married in a Catholic church. What’s a mockery is OP’s suggestion of lying. [/quote]

[b]You act as if it's so easy to get married in the church[/b]. An indifferent, non-practicing couple still has to meet certain criteria. Maybe it's church attendance, pre-cana, meetings with the priest, good standing, before they will be allowed to book their date. It varies. It's not just "does the one person meet the basic criteria". Sounds like they already have a date and venue for their non religious wedding. Trying to plan a Catholic ceremony into an existing timeline might be a huge hurdle.[/quote]
Nope. You’re inventing something never said. I only commented that 1 person must be Catholic not should be Catholic. If you don’t meet the minimum of one person being Catholic, the rest of what you wrote is irrelevant because there is no chance of a Catholic wedding.[/quote]

No chance? Hardly. A non practicing Catholic who has no intention of raising their kids Catholic can still have one if their parents set it all up.[/quote]

NP: PP was clearly commenting that "should" in that sentence needed to be "must." One party must already be Catholic. There is a difference between non-practicing and not at all Catholic. Your scenario likely involved the non-practicing Catholic having evidence of Baptism, First Communion, and Confirmation, and being willing to take the vows of the Sacrament of Matrimony. Sure, you could fudge your way through that, even if they don't mean it, though dishonesty is truly a terrible way to start a marriage. But, two people, neither of whom has ever had any of the Catholic sacraments will not be able to have parents "pull strings," even if the parents sign the document avowing that the child was not fully catechized through no fault of their own but due to the fault of the parent (that's a thing). There would be some steps before that sacrament was conferred.

[/quote]
Exactly. [/quote]

The entire point is being missed. If you have no intention of raising the kids, practicing, being religious, what is the point in the Catholic wedding? You have to actually meet with the priest and do marriage prep. I can't believe 2 adults who go through all that and tell the priest they are only doing it because his parents are making them. How ridiculous. [b]So you should be or want to be Catholic[/b] to do all of this otherwise it is a farce. Just get married at the pretty venue.[/quote]
Nope. You’re making things up again. There is no “should be” or “want to be” Catholic. At least one person MUST be. Not sure why you keep saying someone “should be” when that is factually wrong and you’ve been told by multiple PPs that you’re wrong. Saying you’ll raise your kids Catholic, practicing, and being a religious Catholic is completely irrelevant if at least one person isn’t Catholic. There’s no should about it. [/quote]

I'm just going to keep saying it to piss you off. [b]You should actually want to be a practicing Catholic if you want to have a Catholic wedding.[/b] It doesn't matter much if you come in waving your baptismal certificate. You're going to jump through a lot of hoops, meet the priest, attend marriage prep classes, just to be permitted to have your ceremony at the church. So, unless you're a moron you [b]should[/b] actually be a practicing Catholic in good standing. This really bothers you for some reason. [/quote]
Yay! You finally said something accurate! It’s only taken you what, 10 posts of being told you’re wrong, before you can post something accurate. ⭐️ for you![/quote]

I have said the same thing consistently. OPs husband is Catholic but it's not enough. The next question a church asks you is: are you a registered parishioner? And if the answer is "no" then you don't just get to plan your wedding. I said "you don't both need to be Catholic" and you have been freaking out about it ever since. This has always been true. When I said one "should be" I clearly meant a practicing one. Never ever did I say neither had to be Catholic. But carry on being a d!ck.[/quote]
You’re posts are all there to refer to. You consistently maintained one [i]should[/i] be Catholic. It’s a [i]must[/i]. You weirdly continued to dig in that [i]should be Catholic[/i] is all that is needed. So the only thing you’ve been consistent with is being wrong. What you [i]“meant”[/i] is irrelevant. What is [u]factual[/u] is actually relevant. So odd it took you what 10 posts to finally get that?

And if you’re so bothered that you now need to call names, take a break. [/quote]

Gosh, why would anyone not want to be part of this exclusive religion with all sorts of rules and articles about who is allowed to partake in certain ceremonies. [/quote]

New poster, and [i]not[/i] talking about Catholic weddings, but: Our church is part of a Protestant denomination, which doesn't require the couple to be members to have their wedding in the church. But our specific church location had to start requiring that the couple have some form of connection to our specific congregation (a close friend or relative who is a listed member, for instance; even a distant relation was fine) because we were so swamped with requests for "church weddings" by random couples who just liked the location. Close to big hotels, close to major highways, etc. While being open for almost all weddings was a good outreach and considered part of ministry to the community, the amount of "Can we have the ceremony there" requests became overwhelming. So some "rules about who was allowed" had to be created or our minister would have been doing multiple weddings every weekend from spring until fall ended, and the toll on the building would have been an issue.

I know, this is an aside to other debates here, but worth noting for any couples who just pick a church for its location or looks--you might find that you still need some connection in order to marry there.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics