Reply to Truthfully, can you both have careers and have 3+ kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No part of the lifestyle the posters on the past 3 pages are describing (3 kids 5 and under in 5 different activities per week and w/ a nanny and preschool) sounds fun at all to me.

I want to actually spend time w/ my kids. I want my kids to have time w/ me just focusing on them 1:1. I want to get to know my kids as people and not just shuttle them around to one activity after another (or have a nanny do it). I want to have a life where we (my spouse and kids and I) can relax and enjoy each other's company and not every waking minute is spent engaged in some "elite sport", working, or driving to/from work or elite sport. That does not sound enjoyable at all.

Think about what is best for your kids and you and your spouse, OP. Do you envision a lifestyle where everyone is always stressed, always going from one thing to the next? Or do you envision a lifestyle where you have a nice family dinner at home most nights and read your kids stories and put them to bed on time and talk about their day and sit on the couch cuddling with them? I think only you can decide what it is that works best for you and your family. Hopefully whatever you choose will also work for your kids as well.[/quote]

If you have kids in travel sports you are probably not having dinner together every night - regardless of whether you have 2 or 3 children. If your spouse has a big job and gets home at 7 or 7:30 (as my husband does) you are not having family dinner together until your kids are in middle school. Another child does not make “getting to know” your children and family dinners impossible.

Your argument is dumb. Go away. You don’t belong in this forum anyway.[/quote]

We have family dinner Friday-Sunday but my kids go to bed at 8 so it is not realistic.

I am so sick of reading this stupid stuff from people who pretended that when you have three kids you can’t know them. [/quote]

I agree with this. 3 kid families are very normal in my UMC circle. 3-4 kid families were very typical in the UMC community I was raised in. Very tight knit families. I’m in a suburb of NYC - HCOL and academically competitive. [b]I assure you the kids are well parented [/b]and most families have two working parents. [/quote]

You have no way of knowing this unless you are actually IN their family and see it first hand. Why don't you just wait until the kids are grown and ask them how well they were parented. The kids' point of view on this is often much different than the parents' point of view.[/quote]

Pp here. I grew up similarly. [b]All of my close friends are from families with 3+ kids. [/b]All are close with their parents. Some are closer with some siblings than others. [b]All of us went to top colleges and have careers and families now. [/b]Many are choosing to stick with two kids primarily because we started having kids later than our parents did, and because of our careers dont want to have three kids in five years. It really depends on your circle, but just because three kids would be too hard for you doesn’t mean it’s too hard for everyone.

OP would definitely need a nanny though - most working parents need childcare. No shame in that.[/quote]

You sound like you’re from the NE.  You grew up in a rat race and don’t know a better life. You grew up around long commutes, a nanny raising the kids, dual income, needing to send kids out of state for college because of a lack of in-stage options etc.

You’d be shocked what a world of difference it is growing up somewhere less chaotic with only two kids.  [/quote]

All of this [/quote]

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