Reply to Truthfully, can you both have careers and have 3+ kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No part of the lifestyle the posters on the past 3 pages are describing (3 kids 5 and under in 5 different activities per week and w/ a nanny and preschool) sounds fun at all to me.

I want to actually spend time w/ my kids. I want my kids to have time w/ me just focusing on them 1:1. I want to get to know my kids as people and not just shuttle them around to one activity after another (or have a nanny do it). I want to have a life where we (my spouse and kids and I) can relax and enjoy each other's company and not every waking minute is spent engaged in some "elite sport", working, or driving to/from work or elite sport. That does not sound enjoyable at all.

Think about what is best for your kids and you and your spouse, OP. Do you envision a lifestyle where everyone is always stressed, always going from one thing to the next? Or do you envision a lifestyle where you have a nice family dinner at home most nights and read your kids stories and put them to bed on time and talk about their day and sit on the couch cuddling with them? I think only you can decide what it is that works best for you and your family. Hopefully whatever you choose will also work for your kids as well.[/quote]

If you have kids in travel sports you are probably not having dinner together every night - regardless of whether you have 2 or 3 children. If your spouse has a big job and gets home at 7 or 7:30 (as my husband does) you are not having family dinner together until your kids are in middle school. Another child does not make “getting to know” your children and family dinners impossible.

Your argument is dumb. Go away. You don’t belong in this forum anyway.[/quote]

The argument that someone wants to actually spend time with their kids versus spending all their time working and then rushing home from work to shuttle kids to activities is dumb? [/quote]

DP and the argument is silly because it assumes you can't spend time with your kids if they do activities. Any parent of 3 with kids in activities knows that's just not true. Last night I had a quality 50 minutes with my youngest in the car chit-chatting about her day on her way to and from a game. When we got home I caught up with my oldest (whose old enough to stay by herself and was working on homework). Yes I had less time with my middle, but that evens out time earlier in the week when I was bringing her home from something and we were talking.

I wouldn't tell you to go away like PP did, but you're making an awful lot of incorrect assumptions about us 3 kid parents.[/quote]

Again, they're not assumptions. They're anecdotes from my own lived experience as one of 3 kids. I didn't say it's impossible to spend quality time w/ each kid. I said it's a lot harder the more kids you have. Still you want to argue with that because you're very defensive and need to prove to yourself that you do indeed have enough time and give enough attention to each kid. That's fine and I'm sure you're doing your best. But it's still not, and can never be, as much time/attention you could have for each kid if you had 1-2 kids. It's just not.[/quote]

I've only responded to you on this topic once, so you're conflating me with someone else. I actually am very comfortable with how well I know my kids, and I'm glad you feel the same about your relationship with your own kids.[/quote]

You wanna fight?[/quote]

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