Reply to 21 year old son, overnights with girlfriend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In theory I agree with you as it is not something I ever would have “ let my parents know.” However, he is 21 and as soon as she graduates they may simply move in together so what is the difference.

I say this as lived this with my ds. My dh and I not naive so the lines we drew were not to pay for them to live together at uni ( they asked), and no sleepovers here until they had graduated college - 2nd piece was organic as he just never asked. When we vacationed she always had her own room.

Again, not naive, and I think she spent the last two years at his townhouse with him and his roommates but it just seemed unseemly for an “ adult” have his parents pay to live with his girlfriend 😀, and we wanted him to connect with others. The 4 yrs with roommates worked as made friends.

They both graduated last year and each are living at home to save money. Their plan is to become engaged this summer and move in together in the Fall. This was always going to happen so why pretend otherwise.

Your ds is 21, college graduate, an adult. You should let this go.

My only caveat for you is if this against your moral and/ or religious values I would calmly discuss and then live with his choice. Our dcs make many choices we would not but nothing so egregious that we would push them away. Focus on the unconditional love you have for him.

I say let this go, and wishing you peace.

[/quote]

Exactly. Serious relationships at the age are normal and a good thing! OP will be back in 10 years wondering why her poor son won’t get married and give her grandchildren already. Because she scared away all the girlfriends![/quote]

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