Reply to Holding my boundary. Let him be mad.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the saddest thread I've ever read on UCUM.

My Mom is dying.  She never passed us on to anyone. Both Mom and Dad just showed us unconditional love.
I don't think she ever had any free time until her 3rd child
was in kindergarten.

[/quote]

I’m very sorry for what you’re going through.
There are no prizes for being a martyr.
Not having Any free time for years is not something to boast.[/quote]

NP hard agreeing with the PP you quoted. This is so sad that both parents treat their child like a chore. I have four kids and get some free time here or there but don’t really mind because I love being with my kids. That’s why I had them. I’m truly shocked that parents would be keeping score like this. It’s your daughter! Either or both of you can get her some food and a nap. Just be normal. It’s not that hard. SMH at a parent who throws a fit because she only got her allotted 3 hours free from her child instead of 4. So sad PP thinks making lunch for a 3 year old is dying like a “martyr.”

Seriously OP must have trouble functioning in life. She sounds like someone who is triggered by micro aggressions, gossips at work, and complains to anyone who listens about how life with one child is SO HARD. Please get a grip and do not have any more children. That goes for your DH, too.[/quote]

Another mommy martyr!  Man they’re out in full form today. You can spot them a mile away with “it’s SO SAD…” bs. [/quote]

Another person accusing someone being a mommy martyr! If you compare spending an extra 20 minutes with your daughter to make her a sandwich and put her to bed to DYING, you shouldn’t be a parent. Especially after you’ve had hours all to yourself. If you and your husband both clock in and out of your jobs as parents like you’re working at Walmart, you shouldn’t be a parent. People, get real. Parenting has its ups and downs but it’s not that hard to manage one child. Some people are just too self-centered to be parents and, apparently, to even be married.[/quote]

While I wouldn't ever tell anyone "you shouldn't be a parent"--that goes too far--I agree with where this post goes.

"You and your husband both clock in and out of your jobs as parents like you're working at Walmart" pretty much nails this at the most fundamental level.

Having "me time" specifically carved out so each of you gets it is a wonderful idea and important. I really do think so. But not communicating well (DH should have called or texted OP to say he was tired, and would she please take over sooner) and being petty and rigid (OP choosing to resent her DH over this, and being this level of angry over it) are not good for any relationship. It does indeed come off as clocking in and out, to the point that OP feels like she's working unwanted overtime. And is letting that feeling turn into A Hill to Die On--God forbid that she should talk calmly to her DH or that he should agree that he could have given her a heads-up.

And I'm thinking that if they have even one more kid, in a few years she'll be back here posting about how she and DH are splitting because they just can't agree on whether either of them pulls enough weight in child care duties. [/quote]

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