Reply to Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Snerk. This happens EVERY time with my friends who choose to go gray. They don’t just make the choice, they make a huge freaking deal about how THEY are aging gracefully and celebrating their natural beauty and not conforming to the patriarchy and blah blah blah. It’s all talk until someone mistakes them for a grandma or whatever, and then they’re all distraught.

I was on vacation with a group of women, all in our 40s. One friend was mistaken as the tour guide at a landmark we were visiting, because “one of these things doesn’t look like the others.” She was so mad and went on and on.
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The thing about aging gracefully is that you actually have to be graceful about it. The thing about not caring about conforming to society’s beauty standards is you actually have to not care.

Make your choice, but own it and practice what you preach.[/quote]

This... my MIL has looked 60+ since she was in her 40s, mostly a combo of not dying her hair, getting a 'zero maintenance' super short haircut, and wearing zero makeup or skin care. If that's how you feel most comfortable that's awesome! But that's also not how a lot of women decide to look at that age so you can't be surprised if the assumption is that you are older. 
I feel the same way if someone keeps their boy toddler's hair long and dresses them in gender neutral clothing... shouldn't be offended if someone assumes he is a girl. [/quote]

Man some people find it really upsetting if women don’t conform. “Snerk” poster you arent fooling anyone with your dyed hair and fillers. [/quote]

Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t do fillers. I don’t dye my hair. I’m 43 and luckily do not need to at this point. I haven’t even decided whether I will once the gray shows up. But here’s what I do know: whatever choices I make about what I will or will not do about my appearance? I will own those choices and live those choices. I won’t make a decision and then expect the entire world to celebrate or accept me—because it never will! The world hasn’t magically changed to become always-accepting of me when I decided to be a working mom, or when I decided to breastfeed and pump at work, or when I decided never to wear skinny jeans or other trends that don’t suit the body that I have accepted.

I already decided several years ago that I was done with high heels except for special occasions, and I was done with bras with underwire. And yes, if I worked super hard, I could lose the 20 pounds that any fashion designer would say I need to lose in order to look good/fit perfectly into their close. I’m sure I could do things that would help me conform to beauty and fashion standards that I don’t choose to do. And thus I don’t spend time staring at Vogue and wishing I were a size 2 with perfectly manicured nails and highlights in my hair and fillers in my face, because I’ve decided not to run that particular race. I make my choices and I live them. I don’t make my choices and then act like the entire world should applaud me all the time and treat me as if I AM a Vogue model.[/quote]

Lol over here criticizing people who choose to go gray when you’re 20 pounds over weight. That will age you and make you look way worse than some gray hair. [/quote]

I’m not 20 pounds overweight per BMI, I’m 20 pounds over what any casting director or fashion designer would have me be; there’s a difference. At any rate, I don’t write wah wah wah posts about how no casting director will look my way. I own my choices and I live my life without caring what others think. I don’t say I don’t care and then whine and complain like OP. If you are going to “embrace the gray” then…embrace it. Stop the hypocritical whining about it.[/quote]

Why are you being such a seaward to the OP? You’ve written a novella on this topic, far outpacing her. Own that.

And honestly, you’re chubby and presumptuous as hell. I don’t think you minus 20 pounds would lead Edward Enniful to beg you to be his September issue model. [/quote]

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