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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Also, remember that each house has a large number of sisters.  A girl may have 10 girls she knows and likes in the sorority.  If she goes to a rush party and just talks to them, she likely won’t get in.  Not because they “turn” on her because the other girls in the sorority who she doesn’t know still don’t know her after the party.  It’s critical that a girl meet as many sisters as possible at each party.  [/quote]

In 20 minutes. [/quote]

The whole process is strange.  Pick "your best friends" for the next 4 years from 3-4 meetings, of 3-5 mins with 4 or 5 girls each time, all while you are working your hardest to "present yourself"---or rather let others pick your best friends for the next 4 years.

That's not how normal people pick friends.  You hang out with people, get to know them by spending hours with them, not minutes.  Hang out watching movies, go to dinner, shopping, playing games, going to parties, playing sports, studying, etc.. And you decide if they are for you once you really get to know them, not the other way around.

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and guess what? you still have the opportunity to do that once you accept a bid. Plenty of people do and find, hey I don't really mesh with these girls, we have not as much in common as I thought and it's not what I want, and they depledge. No harm no foul.[/quote]

Obviously one can choose to not join or to depledge.  But there is harm done to many in this process.  Everyone wants to be liked and have friends.  To be Judged not acceptable at many places (only having 1 left when everyone else has 4 at a stage) has a toll on girls mental health.  To hear someone say "your not pretty enough, you dont dress the right way" is mean and demeaning.  You cannot tell me it's not unhealthy for many girls---just read the comments.  Most of what is achieved by going greek (the camaraderie, friendships, teams, etc)  can be done in a much nicer manner with clubs and activities and in general just making friends---where anyone who wants to join can join--there doesn't need to be a selection process.  But systems that for years have created a social hierarchy at the expense of many are not the best.

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Sounds like greek life isn’t for your family.  Most of the girls I knew didn’t take rush particularly seriously and were fine with the outcome.  It probably isn’t a good match for sensitive kids.[/quote]

Yes, it's just not for some people and it's obvious there are some repeat posters that are simply sensitive and dug in.  The process is not a secret... do it or don't.  There are 750,00 active Greek and 9M alumni members in America, so obviously it works for plenty of people.   [/quote]

+1 not to mention, the PP who posted the quote you responded to, clubs can be just as exclusive as greek houses. My DD has tried three times to get onto a particular club sport team, to no avail. She was also in another club sport which was filled with mean and competitive girls. SO... clubs are just as bad. A group of kids together are naturally going to tend to want to be exclusive and competitive. Its their nature. I don't know many clubs that are truly impactful that are completely open to anyone. I'm sure there are many, but at my kids school, the clubs sports teams all have tryouts, the debating clubs have interviews, the finance clubs are super competitive.  Your sensitive kids are going to struggle.

I say this as a mom whose DD was cut from 11 sororities after the first day of rush. So you can't tell me I'm looking a it through rose colored glasses because it all worked out brilliantly for her. It didn't, it was a bit stressful during rush, and a hit to her self confidence, but she is resilient and got past it by focusing on what really matters, which is not popularity. [/quote]

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