Reply to Explain to me the financial risk of SAH if partner is a high earner

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Lots of good comments, thank you.

While I think the point about a power differential is a good one, what is overlooked is that the differential can exist even  if I continue working. There is no man making 2M+ who cares about his wife’s 100K job FOR THE MONEY. He might respect her drive and her accomplishments (as my DH does) but if he saw it as “his” money vs “mine” (he does not and very much regards it as “ours”) the power difference would still be there FOR SURE. An income of 100k, especially after taxes, is basically nothing relative to 2M+.

Also to those who say it’s better to “earn equally and contribute equally”: I used to feel the same way, and not that long ago (when we first got married) we DID earn pretty equally. But now we don’t. Am I supposed to wish he didn't make so much money? Or is he actually supposed to change career paths to be on the same lower footing as I am? None of that would make sense to me (and I cannot imagine a man asking a woman to make less money so they remained equal!!)

There is definitely nothing as secure as remaining employed. But it is feeling as if the risk can be mitigated with some smart decision making.

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OP, where does his income go? Do you have access/equal rights to the accounts? Do you have investments/RE/own solo 401k beside liquid accounts? Hate to repeat that, but while I was waiting for divorce to be finalized, my exH emptied all joint accounts (at a rate of $150k/month for 2 years!). He also cashed his 401k (his company allowed to take lumpsum at certain age) and move it abroad as well.I only got a good settlement because we had a lot of RE (so I've got higher equity in RE).

If there are no joint illiquid assets in the US, you're screwed. Insurance beneficiaries, 401k under his control, college accounts - in a bitter divorce it will all evaporate. High earner men are also very vile during divorce, they fight fiercely to ensure you get nothing. My ex lost himself on cashing his 401k, but he still did it so I wouldn't get half of annuity.  [/quote]

Were you watching the money and why didn't you empty out the accounts too?[/quote]

Because these were HIS corporate accounts, with him a primary earner and control person. He simply moved funds to another account (separate) then invested into an LLC in Liechtenstein. Good luck litigating. He was wealthy enough not to worry about his taxes on 401k cash-out, but angry enough not to allow me having a cushy annuity as long as he's alive. I got most of the US real estate, as the value of what he moved in cash was partially applied to my equity in RE, and I did have a very good DC attorney. No you're wrong - the court won't freeze accounts: if he says its for business purposes or other valid purposes  he has full control to move anywhere he wants. At least in DC. I consulted at that time with top 10 attorneys. [/quote]

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