Reply to Explain to me the financial risk of SAH if partner is a high earner

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Lots of good comments, thank you.

While I think the point about a power differential is a good one, what is overlooked is that the differential can exist even  if I continue working. There is no man making 2M+ who cares about his wife’s 100K job FOR THE MONEY. He might respect her drive and her accomplishments (as my DH does) but if he saw it as “his” money vs “mine” (he does not and very much regards it as “ours”) the power difference would still be there FOR SURE. An income of 100k, especially after taxes, is basically nothing relative to 2M+.

Also to those who say it’s better to “earn equally and contribute equally”: I used to feel the same way, and not that long ago (when we first got married) we DID earn pretty equally. But now we don’t. Am I supposed to wish he didn't make so much money? Or is he actually supposed to change career paths to be on the same lower footing as I am? None of that would make sense to me (and I cannot imagine a man asking a woman to make less money so they remained equal!!)

There is definitely nothing as secure as remaining employed. But it is feeling as if the risk can be mitigated with some smart decision making.

[/quote]

You’re not supposed to think anything but there sure are times when I wish DH didn’t make so much money!

And somebody who works and who values paid work is going to respect somebody who works for 100K more than somebody who makes no money. Look at the people on this board. People who make 60K think they are somehow better than I am.

But you’re right, risk can be mitigated and I think that in spite of the intensity we see from both sides of this debate, there are far fewer really bad ways to go than people would have you believe. [/quote]

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