Reply to If H takes this job, it’s going to break me.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are married to a child. WTF, OP?  [b]Fair Play cards?  What the heck are those?[/b]  Zero chance I’d survive my marriage if I had to negotiate with my DH to act like an adult. Just Wow. [/quote]

Actually it’s a great structure for couples/families to figure out how to divide up tasks. Judging by this entire website, it’s something that MANY struggle with. It takes more than just being a good partner. Sometimes you need some support in navigating that process of figuring out who does what.

https://www.amazon.com/Fair-Play-Game-Changing-Solution-When-ebook/dp/B07NTX84PY[/quote]

This is ridiculous.  I cannot see how this could possibly work unless you are already in a very good relationship and are literally[b] just looking for a way to split household tasks.[/b]  
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It actually is about splitting tasks. [/quote]

No it isn’t.  Is this your first day as a married woman?  
This is about getting your husband to realize that you do so much more for the household than he realizes, and he needs to take on additional chores because what he’s doing isn’t close to half.

My marriage has had ups and downs like any other.  At the times it is going well, we wouldn’t need anything like this because we both wanted to serve the other person and make each other happy.  So, if either of us needed help, we would just ask, and the other one would happily help.

At the times things weren’t going well, and anger and resentment were building, and we both felt like we were doing more than our fair share.  Neither of us were willing to help the other, and it didn’t matter anyway because neither of us were willing to be vulnerable enough to admit that we were overwhelmed or afraid and that we needed the other person’s help.  When we were there, I can imagine this conversation being mostly about how I am such a martyr and he is such a loser.  He would promptly throw his cards in the trash.

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