Reply to Husband refuses to help with night feedings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you need to go to bed by 8pm. Your husband takes the 10pm feed, and you handle the middle of the night ones.

Others have said this is a short time and they are right, but there is a LOT of rigidity in both of your expectations for how things will go, and some things have to give.

One of those things is that your husband will go to sleep later than he wants. You'll go to sleep earlier than you want. He will likely work out less frequently for a while. Eventually it will all settle out, but these compromises are key to sustaining a healthy relationship with an infant.[/quote]

+1 to all of this.

And OP, I'm going to give an opinion that you are not going to like, but here it is - start learning to trust your gut. You've got a pediatrician micro-managing you and a lactation consultant micro-managing you and you are trying to do everything they say and also live up to your husband's expectations that you breastfeed.

So, #1 - if it's really that important to your husband that you breastfeed he needs to step up and do a late night or early morning feed so you can rest.

#2 - grill your pediatrician on the weight gain. You can feed an otherwise healthy newborn on demand. Was your baby low birth weight? Lose a lot of weight in the hospital? If he's not gaining as quickly as your ped would like what is the ped basing that on? Because something is not adding up if you have sufficient supply, are pumping, and supplementing.

#3 - give yourself and your husband a break as much as you can. The newborn phase is HARD.[/quote]

OP here.

1. It's important for me to breastfeed too. I want to make sure my baby gets as much nutrition from breast milk as possible for the first 3 months. My husband also wants me to breastfeed and agrees breastmilk is the best food for him.

2. He was born at a normal weight - 6lbs 14oz in 32 percentile but was down to 6lbs at day 4 at 3rd percentile. Two weeks he was 6lbs 7oz and 7lbs 2oz at 4 weeks. Yesterday he was 7lbs 12oz.

I had low supply the first 2 weeks and didn't know. Then it took 2 weeks of pumping on top of breastfeeding + supplementing to start making him gain weight. He is now gaining well but the pediatrician still has us feeding every 3 hours. She wants to see 1-2lbs weight gain by 8 weeks. He is small and still in newborn diapers and clothes.[/quote]

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