Reply to Getting Divorced. People Say “I’m sorry.” Why?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is so disingenuous. They say it because your marriage failed and they’re trying to be polite.

Don’t be such an ass. If you want to let people know you’re happy and it’s for the best, then say that. But how could people possibly know that unless you told them?!

Come on. I can’t stand when people like you throw basic civility back in people’s faces. They’re trying to be nice and polite but you want even more. You want people to be able to read your mind and anticipate your needs moment to moment. You know that’s supremely unrealistic right?[/quote]

It’s not  polite or civil. It’s an ill-bread response.[/quote]

How did we come to someone arguing that a simple “oh, I’m sorry to hear that” to someone announcing the end of their marriage is impolite, un-civil, and a sign of ill breeding?  :lol:  (Or ill bread)[/quote]

Because it is and it’s been explained over and over. Don’t say sorry, it’s rude.

A well educated person knows to not say sorry to something that is not bad.[/quote]

This is hilarious. So, does this mean I should send a condolence card to my friend who is getting married? If the point of marriage is to do it so you can then go on to have a beautiful divorce later that friends and strangers alike should congratulate you on? Please go on [/quote]

What up with the black and white thinking.

If someone is at UVA and then transfers to UMCP do you say sorry, no, you’re glad they found a place they like better.

I’m going to UVA, congratulations!
How’s UVA? Oh I’m at Md now I didn’t really like UVA.
Oh best wishes go Terps.

What would you say “oh I’m so sorry, what happened… you had dreams of being a cavalier. Condolences. “
No you would NEVER say that

How’s Mary?
Oh we got divorced.
Oh I didn’t hear how are the kids doing I haven’t seen them in so long.

Its like you guys need social skills classes [/quote]

Again, some more: honey, we were there. We were there at your wedding. I know you’d like to conveniently forget like you didn’t stand up in front of a hundred friends and family members and take vows that you would be with this person forever, but you did. No amount of gaslighting will make that untrue. What’s done is done. You wanted to marry this man, and you wanted us to celebrate you every step of the way—and we did! We looked at the ring, we helped you plan, we threw you a shower, we had a fun bachelorette, we stood up with you on the day of, we watched you dance and eat cake and kiss.

We’re sorry your marriage failed. We were witness to what you asked us to witness: your vows of forever. We are SORRY that it didn’t work out. But we’re not going to pretend like you didn’t ask us to come and celebrate your marriage. You get to write your future, and we support that. But we’re not stupid, nor are we blind, nor can you change the past.

We are sorry for you. We wish you well on your path forward. Hopefully you will, at some point, get past denial and actually process this so that you don’t feel compelled to try to gaslight and lie to yourself and others.[/quote]

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