Reply to This is the first year in 13 years that I have completely dropped the rope with DH’s family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]After a horrific blow up last spring in which I was blamed and made the scapegoat. In the summer I said to him, no more. I don’t mind seeing them but you will do 100% of the hosting and need to be home for 100% of their visit- taking off work if necessary.

Therefore, for the holidays this year we are:

Not seeing or hosting them (he never planned it)

Not exchanging adult gifts (he decided he didn’t want to do it despite me saying that for years)

Also, he was in charge of giving them all the kids gift ideas as they want specific links to things to buy for the kids and want to chose from the options. He keeps complaining about this and it’s unclear if he’s done it as of today (I have provided these links the last 13 years).

I feel so free and happier than I have been in years! Why didn’t I do this earlier?!

I will one day advise my adult daughter- do not do the work for the husbands family, make him step up and do it. You cannot win. If you do it well, no one seems to care and you have just done a ton of work. If you mess up, you’ll be criticized. None of this is good for your marriage or yourself.

[/quote]

You seem obsessed with trying to see if anyone notices .. or cares. They don’t.[/quote]

I mean, I think my mil notices that she is getting no gifts this year from her sons family and that she is not seeing her son or grandchildren?[/quote]

Who cares? Not me! That’s for my H to worry about.[/quote]

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