Reply to Sister recently said our Stepdad sexually abused her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]S[b]exual abuse has been happening for an eternity in many, many families. It's only recently that it's been uncovered as having lasting damaging effects on children, and on their adult lives and relationships.  No one really cared until now.
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I don't think it's helpful to respond in horror or shock or to try to make out the stepfather into a predator and monster.  I think it's helpful to figure out a way forward so that we don't keep passing on trauma to vulnerable people.

And as an outsider, it's very easy to judge OP for having doubts about his sister's story.  But that's not helpful either.

OP, your sister did a very hard and brave and honorable thing by telling you. It's important that you keep your children away from your stepdad, even if that makes things uncomfortable.  It's also important, in case you haven't already, to talk to your children about personal safety regarding their bodies in an age appropriate manner.  Also, tell your wife the situation.  I promise, that not talking about these things is what keeps these things going.[/quote]

For real? Outside of May _December sort of marriges?[/quote]

There have been studies that show that 1/4 of girls were sexually abused before the age of 14.  The fact that we are all of a sudden considering those who inflict this abuse some type of horrific aberration is not doing us any favors in preventing future abuse from happening.  It's good that we now are aware and cognizant that sexual abuse causes lasting trauma and long term damage.  It's not good that we are acting as if it is some perverse anomaly that happens rarely.  It's not going to help solve the problem.[/quote]

I hear a lot of saying what not to do, but what do you suggest instead?[/quote]

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