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Reply to "Women expecting other women to be in charge of all holidays/logistics/family dynamics"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did none of these older women have jobs? I was born in 1986 and NONE of the women in my family had jobs but I thought we were an anomaly. How exhausting to be trying to work and also be expected to coordinate a gourmet meal (and there better not be any subpar stuffing.)[/quote] OP here. I was born in 1979 and plenty of my mom’s peers had jobs, including my mom, but it’s like they still have this ingrained homemaking servitude chip embedded in them. My dad does no holiday prep or planning, no meal prep or planning, doesn’t even buy cards and gifts for his own sister. I can recall holidays where my brother was allowed to stay at the table while my sister and I were expected to clear the table. I don’t get it, I really don’t.[/quote] I think because if it was left to the majority of men nothing would happen. Seriously. My husband doesn't care about Thanksgiving or Easter dinners. If it were up to him, he would just find someplace that has takeout. Same with special holiday traditions for the kids. I do care about it though. So there it is. [/quote] My husband does care. He helps with decorating, planning, cooking, baking, cleaning, all of it, for every holiday. We don’t care about the same details, and we don’t have the favorite special decorations or dishes, but we both actively care to make holidays nice for our kids, our families, and ourselves.[/quote] I wonder how rare that is. My husband wouldn't do ANYTHING in life but have a job (thank goodness for at least that), if it wasn't for my planning and executing absolutely everything. He takes no responsibility for anything and I daresay he doesn't even know what grades our children are in. clothing sizes??? HAHAHAHAHAHAH. I've tried involving him, dropping "the rope", etc., and it's frankly more effort and misery than it's worth. So I do it all. For myself and my kids' sakes. Not ideal, but the best I can do for our family. I have a lot of resentment about it, and a lot of anger. I've lost a lot of respect for him, and can't be attracted to someone so passive about everything. "Do you want me to put the milk in the refrigerator?" I mean really??? [/quote]
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