Reply to Married and infatuated with coworker

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Married and infatuated with coworker"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, sure, fantasize, enjoy his company at work. But honestly, based on what I've seen and experienced, men who go down that road with you and cheat on their wives are sorry sacks. They literally are cowards who can't afford to leave their wives even if they wanted to. Most are not some multi-millionaire exec who can afford the younger attractive woman who makes him feel 25 again, who he wants to replace his old wife with. These pathetic losers are scared of leaving their wives and upsetting their lives-- and probably also scared of losing a particular lifestyle. They'll get into an affair to save their marriages-- they want to stay married, but they want variety. The affair is marriage life support for them.

For most women who are terribly unhappy, it's a way out and hopefully into a new marriage and life. That's why these things are usually called "exit affairs" for women. [b]But please, keep in mind, the men aren't looking for exits. Even if they're unhappy and their wife is a controlling harpy who forces him to spend every weekend with her miserable parents he detests, HE, WILL, NOT, LEAVE, HER. He'll say he loves her, too. And my guess is that he may love her in some way, but he's more in love with his stable life in a nice house and not having to move into a crappy apartment without room for all of his toys. [/b]

So, where does that leave you? Talk to a counselor and figure out what is really, truly wrong. Divorce isn't the end of the world. People get divorced all the time and go on to live better lives. If you're miserable, talk it out, and then if you need to, get out. But don't go down the affair road because you'll most likely be the one who gets hurt. [/quote]

This is dead on. OP, read this. And then read it again.

I say this as a married man who cheated in a similar situation. I liked my AP, I cared about her but there was zero chance I was leaving my marriage for her (I am still married). It was mostly about having sex with someone new and someone interested in me as my wife lost interest. But if I was going to leave my wife, I was going to leave to be SINGLE so I could play the Tinder game and all that.

Or as my recently divorced friend told me when I asked him why he broke up with his AP when he left his marriage: who tries to break back into jail?

Your fantasy object may have sex with you if you show interest, but don't expect more.[/quote]
I don’t expect more, I want a fwbs type relationship, I can support myself, I might want to go on a date with him once in a while or something, but I would never want to marry him.[/quote]

You don’t want just this. Fwb doesnt start with infatuation [/quote]
It would have to be this, I am not getting divorced.[/quote]

Your DH will leave you. And you fwb will not leave his wife. So you will be alone with 50 percent custody. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics