Reply to 17 Year Old Custody Schedule

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, how did it go, OP?[/quote]

OP here: my DS's next weekend with his dad isn't until next weekend, so I don't know yet.  I slept on it for two nights and tried to talk to DS again.  DS is still adamant he won't go to his dad's next weekend.  My ex refuses to discuss it with DS because ex says this is a dispute between me and him to figure out, because DS isn't one of the parties who signed the custody agreement.

To address other PPs' comments: DS doesn't have to miss any of his actual football games because those are on Friday nights.  So on his dad's weekends, DS either gets driven up to his dad's Friday night after the game, or Saturday morning after Saturday morning practice (when he has them).  He hasn't been missing any of his sports commitments with our schedule.  But he does miss out on post-game/practice socializing those weekends, which is part of why he's starting refusing to go.

I suggested to ex that maybe we can just ease the strict schedule until football season is over, and then try to get DS to go back to EOW for the rest of the school year, but ex said no.[/quote]

In all seriousness, with a kid that old who will be 18 in less than 12 months, I would do nothing.

I wouldn’t engage with ex in the topic anymore or DS.

Ex can do whatever he wants.

He can call the police. He can file with the courts. Whatever.

The cops will be annoyed and will tell him to do something reasonable like come to pick up his kid

He can file with the court, a lawyer will take his money and tell him he is wasting his time, but will happily take his money.
If you make it to court, either the judge will tell your DH to be reasonable or tell your kid to go to visitation and by that time it will be a couple months or so.

Drop the rope with your ex and just let it go.

[/quote]

+1. If your son refuses to get in the car then he needs to call dad and tell him that he is not coming. I would engage through texting only and let EX know, I am sitting in the car waiting to drive Larlo to your house. He will not get in the car. You need to call DS to talk to him. I am waiting in the car to drive him.

I would text this once and not respond further. He and DS can figure out what to do. I would be very clear with your son that you would like him to follow the custody arrangement since you have suggested alternatives and ex said no. My only caveat is if you are afraid that your ex will harm you or DS. D***ing around like this, can really enrage some people. If you think your ex is dangerous, then I would bribe, punish, whatever I had to do to keep kid on the visitation schedule. Once kid is 18 then he can do what he wants.[/quote]

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