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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time. [/quote]

It's too much for her. The dog, the kids, etc. Get that through your thick skull. Get over the money aspect and don't use that to guilt trip her or hang over her head. She doesn't want to do it so it doesn't happen. Now you know not to rely on her in the future.[/quote]

This is all so bizarre. She is 61 and in good health. Literally a few years older than some of you saying she can’t handle it. [/quote]

You don’t know that she’s in good health. And FFS people can be sick at all ages. I have a friend who died of a heart attack at the age of 49. My uncle was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in his early 50s. Anyone can have a stroke—just read a story about a girl at UMD who was studying abroad and had a stroke at the age of 21. They refused to stop asking about drugs so she left the ER in Ireland and returned home. They diagnosed the stroke too late and she has aphasia as a result.

You are a total B and I’m glad you aren’t getting the vacation you wanted. Serves you right.[/quote]
Np and you’re really reaching here. Lots of people leave their children in the care of a 60 year old. I don’t understand bringing up crazy stories of young people who got sick. Should none of us ever stay home with our children alone?[/quote]

Yes, dear. Lots of 60somethings do, indeed, take care of their grandkids and such. What with them agreeing to do so, you can tell they are comfortable and capable and up to the task. That’s how you can tell if someone is up to the task of childcare: if they are willing to do so and are comfortable with it and are OK with it.

I’ve left my kids in the care of both my parents and my ILs, all in their 70s. They were eager to do so and expressed no reservation. I’ve left my kids in the care of my aunt in her 50s, same deal. And in the care of babysitters in their 20s, same deal. All were confident, comfortable and willing to take on the task.

Age aside, would you really live your kids for 12 days in the care of ANYONE who said, out loud, directly to your face that they were not up to the task? Would you really leave your kids in the care of someone who said they weren’t up to the task and then hop on a plane to leave the country? If so, you are a terrible parent.[/quote]
So you seem to have missed the ENTIRE point of the thread. Which OP has articulated a few times. She would not have been upset if MIL had said no in the first place. That isn’t what happened. Surely you can understand options are limited when she backs out with just a few days notice. [/quote]

OK, so MIL got anxious as the trip got closer. She said yes. Then she started having doubts, and is now anxious and doesn’t feel capable of doing this.

MIL said yes. Then she decided she couldn’t do it. That sucks. That’s life. But better to have MIL speak up and admit she couldn’t take this on then for her to have an anxiety attack and make mistakes and bad choices with the parents in a different country. If MIL had an attack of nerves and God forbid caused an accident or hurt the kids or something, oh man you harpies would be on here, “But why didn’t MIL just be honest and say she couldn’t do it?!”

Would you yank a bride who changed her mind about getting married down the aisle just because the cake was paid for and the guests were starting to arrive? [/quote]

It’s also possible that the MIL has been expressing misgivings before this but OP and her DH turned a deaf ear because they didn’t want to acknowledge them. [/quote]

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