Reply to If you were beaten as a child….

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "If you were beaten as a child…."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's interesting how we now make up what abuse is.[/quote]

Says the child beating ahole.[/quote]

I mean I don’t do that. But tapping a child on the bottom is not abuse. [/quote]

Tapping a child on the bottom or slapping the hand is not spanking or beating.[/quote]

So if your husband did that to you, it would be ok, right? [/quote]

How is a husband the equivalent of a small child? [/quote]

They are a human being, they are part of your family, they deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. [/quote]

And they are. But tapping a toddlers butt is not abuse. Tapping there hand is not abuse. [/quote]

“Tapping” is just a wishy washy way of saying “hit”. Yes, hitting is always abuse.

How did I ever get my kid to behave without “tapping” his butt? Is my kid special? Am I a parenting savant? Why do parents who abuse their children always claim that there was no other way yet I personally know countless families with normal kids who never had to hit them?[/quote]

There are countless families I know with normal kids that were tapped a few times? Like abuse is not tapping on the butt a couple times in childhood. This really takes away from REAL abuse that people experience. You can call it that but you know tapping a butt which people do in sports and other things is not a form of abuse. Good day.[/quote]

People are individuals who experience the world through their own lens. For some, tapping is no big deal. My mother tapped me and I found it funny. Her hand was soft and gentle. I learned nothing from it, other than it was preferable to my dad, who beat me with a belt and verbally humiliated me. Whether you admit it or not, being touched (tap, slap, spank, beating) in the name of punishment is HUMILIATING. If that is your goal, to humiliate your child, who you brought in this world, have at it. Just don't expect them to respect, honor or care for you in your golden years. Or, prepare yourself to experience the fruits of your punishments while they tend to you in your vulnerable state of advanced age or poor health. You will be vulnerable one day, hopefully your caregivers are kinder and more patient than you were with your children.[/quote]

What punishment isn’t potentially “humiliating”?  
My parents spanked me. I actually didn’t find it humiliating- but they taught me to see the action I did that warranted the punishment as the source of shame. I still love and care for my parents. They were great parents[/quote]

I was spanked and some of my punishments in my teen years were far more humiliating. I completely agree with you. As a teen being in trouble is honestly is the worst shame when you have to tell your friends why you can't hang out.[/quote]

Man, the spanking advocates on this thread are really going around in circles. So far we have:

Spanking isn't hitting, it's just "tapping".
Spanking isn't humiliating, BUT hey aren't all punishments humiliating?
Spankign is the only way to make a child know that they've done something really wrong, BUT oh spanking isn't that bad because I found my parents lectures or grounding much worse when I was a kid.

It's almost like there is no logical argument in favor of using physical violence as a form of parental discipline, but people don't want to admit their parents did something wrong or that they do something wrong, so they are just tap dancing around that truth. Hmmmm.[/quote]

So true, and they won’t change their minds based on sound arguments because their minds are protecting them from uncomfortable cognitive dissonance. It’s too painful to admit that you’re doing something that might be abusive, that you’re an imperfect parent, that your parents who you love dearly might have been abusive, etc.

And we have all been there. Nobody wants to acknowledge something that might make them believe they’re a “bad” person or a “bad” parent. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics